Open RP post!

[hominidae]

? Pick one of my characters (see below) OR drop any character of yours in and get a random choice.
? Use RNG and enter 1-14 for a scene; roll again for specifics.
? Or cheat and just pick something.
? You can also just throw a picture, quote, or whatever kind of prompt you want.
? OPTIONAL: combine a bunch of memes and scenarios and go nuts.
? NOT optional: HAVE ALL THE FUN OR ELSE.


MUSE LIST


I. BED INVADERS

A. Decide you know this person! (Cast mate, previous CR, etc.)

1. WAKE THEM UP. You don't care how friendly you are to the person in your bed; they need to get up.
2. PRANK! Oh, this has just got to stop. They need to be punished. But how?
3. CAN'T BEAT 'EM, JOIN 'EM. Push 'em over & snuggle up. You're too tired to deal with this craziness right now. Or sleep on your couch.
4. LET THEM SLEEP. Whatever. It's noon. They're asleep and you've got things to do. Regard them or disregard them.

B. Decide you have NO CLUE who is person is! (No CR, cast mates who have never met, cross-canon, etc.)

5. SCREAM 'OMGWTFBBQ GET UP!' Really. Default action going on here.
6. PRANK! What a better way for you to remember this moment of meeting than by painting a mustachio on your new 'friend's' face? (Remember, it's your bed. Be wise what you do.)
7. GENTLY AWAKEN THEM. Oh, the poor dears! They must be exhausted, but they can't stay here. Be nice, even if it isn't IC for your character. This is what you get for rolling. Shake them up quietly. Or re-roll.
8. GET TO KNOW THEM NON-BIBLICALLY. Well, they're asleep. But they left their wallet, important work, or identification out (no matter how OOC it may be)! Let's see who's REALLY sleeping in your bed. (Use your own judgment on what you find. AS a suggestion, have the most they find is the sleeper's name and maybe place of work.)
9. TIE 'EM UP. FUNCTIONAL typing up. Not kinky, no matter what the other party might think. Let them continue their blissful moment of rest. They'll answer questions later and you'll be safe and sound.

C. Decide - I do what I want

II. ROAD TRIP

1. BREAK DOWN. Oh snap. Your car decided to break down out in the middle of nowhere. WHAT DO? Is that Leather-face? Will this be "Children of the Corn"?
2. HITCHHIKERS? Is this even a good idea? Threads may also have a third participant. Go wild.
3. WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST HIT? Dude, I hear deer mess up cars... Or I think that was a deer...
4. DON'T MAKE ME TURN THIS CAR AROUND. Alas. You're the parent or disgruntled friend who has had it up to here with all the fighting in the back. This thread may also have a third or even fourth participant, if you can wing it.
5. OMG, I WANT TO TAKE A PICTURE OF THIS LANDMARK! No, no, and no. You tell that person that they're going to be driven around and they're going to like it.
6. THE GREAT ESCAPE. Either dinosaurs or the moth-man is chasing you. Don't stop now.
7. MAKE OUT. For whatever reason, the person you're traveling with in the car. You would love to make out with them and then some.

III. CUDDLES

1. SWEET DREAMS. It's been a long day and all you want to do is sleep or just rest your eyes for a bit. Hopefully whoever is close by doesn't mind if you use them as a blanket.
2. STORMY WEATHER. The heavy rain, thunder, and lightning won't be letting up anytime soon. Luckily, it's the perfect weather to stay indoors and snuggle up close and keep warm.
3. SLOW DANCE. It's the end of a party, or maybe it's only the two of you, but the tempo is slow and the lights are low. Let your dance partner take the weight and just sway.
4. SURPRISE ATTACK. Time to invade someone's personal space. Are they working too much and need a distraction? Maybe you just wanted to brighten their day. Either way, they won't see it coming.
5. MOVIE NIGHT. It can be on the sofa or in a darkened theater, but you've got your popcorn and someone to settle against during your favorite movie.
6. I LOVE YOU, MAN. It's totally platonic, really. You're just very good friends, no matter what people like to think. But you just love your friend so much you want to hug them, whether they like it or not.
7. JEEPERS CREEPERS. Welp. You were just frightened. Was it a spider in the washroom, a ghost in the attic, a bad dream? Either way, you're looking for someone to cling to right now, and who better than that person right there?
8. HURT AND COMFORT. Whether you're sick in bed, just been dumped, or suffered a traumatic event, you need someone to wrap their arms around you and make everything go away.
9. SUNDAY MORNING. Maybe you just had a wild night. Maybe there's just not enough space at your place and you need to share your bed. Or maybe you just got really tired and someone else happened to be there. Doesn't matter because now the person with you looks way more comfortable than any blanket or pillow. Drape to your heart's content.
10. MOMENT AFTER. You just had incredible, vigorous sex and if you weren't a cuddler before, you are now. You're probably too exhausted to do anything else anyway. Just enjoy the moment.
11. PLAYER'S CHOICE. Pick one or make up your own!

IV. HURT/COMFORT

1. INJURY. You've been injured. Broken bones or bleeding out or maybe just a tiny little paper-cut. The choice is yours.
2. SICKNESS. You're sick and laid up in bed, at home or in a hospital. The severity is up to you.
3. FEAR/ANXIETY. Something is happening and you're scared beyond belief.
4. LOSS OF SENSES. Sight, touch, taste, hearing, smell, etc. You've lost some important sense or ability and now you're left to deal with it.
5. DESPAIR. Nothing is good or right anymore and you can't shake the depression. Maybe that friend of yours can help though.
6. MAKE UP. Fight or break up, it's time to make up.
7. RESCUED. You've just been held captive and/or tortured for however long and finally, someone has come to the rescue.
8. BAD ROMANCE. Fight, cheat on, abuse, whatever the case is, someone else can clearly see you need comfort from someone who isn't your terrible lover tonight.
9. LOSS. You've experienced a loss of some kind and need help getting through it.

V. FIGHT

1. FISTFIGHT. Straight-up, unfussy, no-holds-barred face punching. Clearly you're emotionally invested in this argument. Or maybe you want some stress relief.
2. BAR FIGHT. Someone's had one too many drinks. Curses are being slurred, bottles are being smashed. Just don't be surprised if you get thrown out.
3. VERBAL. A caustic, intellectual battle of wits? Or just immature playground insults? Either way, the fighting here isn't physical; sticks and stones can break your bones, but we'll see if words can hurt you...
4. WEAPONRY. Fencing practice or a real sword fight? Paintball or battlefield gunfight? The only limits are your imagination (and the extents of human military engineering, of course)!
5. SPARRING. Maybe you're a streetwise punk teaching the new kid on the block the ropes of self-defense. Or perhaps you just want to get some practice in before your karate exam.
6. SEXY. That collar-grabbing led to a kiss, that knee stayed in a place a little too long, those gazes got a little intense... There's heavy breathing here, but it might not be because you've been exerting yourself.
7. DUEL. You insulted the wrong person. Or got caught cheating at cards. A duel, sir, a duel! The glvoes are off (and slapping you) and it's pistols at dawn.
8. COMPETITIVE. Boxing, wrestling, martial arts, the possibilities are endless. Just remember: the first rule of Fight Club...
9. OTHER. Combine any of the above, or make up your own!

VI. BODY HORROR

1. WATER-DWELLING. You've grown gills, or your skin is turning translucent, or you're sprouting fins, or maybe you're outright turning into some form of sea life. It doesn't matter what you're turning into - what does matter is taht you're slowly losing the ability to breathe air, and there's no water in sight.
2. ANIMAL. Something bit you, and you're turning into an animal. Your bones lengthen or perhaps shrink, break, twist, and reform. Your teeth lengthen or shorten. And above all, you feel your instincts being overridden. Your senses sharpen; you notice smells you never did before. Your vision becomes more sensitive to movement. If you're a predator? Man, these people look mighty tasty. Prey? OH GOD. EVERYTHING IS TERRIFYING. Lizard? Enjoy your new inability to regulate body temperature. Bird? Have fun with the whole beak and hollowing bones. And don't get us started on insects and arachnids.
3. PARASITIC. Something's inside you, and it's changing you from within, chewing up your insides and altering your thoughts. You're not sure how much longer you're going to be you, and when the parasite's going to take over completely...
4. DEMONIC. You've been meddling with dark powers beyond the ken of mortal man, and it seems you've accidentally sold your soul. Will you be the traditional kind of demon, horns and hooves, or something far more terrifying and ineffable?
5. UNDEAD. No doubt about it, you're dying. But as you are, something's been altered in you. Maybe you're becoming a vampire - and not the fun kind either; we're talking ugly, ravenous, and mad. Maybe you're a zombie, or a ghoul, and human flesh looks mighty tasty. Or maybe you're just turning into a ghost bent on vengeance. In any case, death is never fun.
6. CYBERNETIC. Get captured by the Borg? Strapped to an operating table? Injected with nanites? Whatever happened to you, you're slowly turning into something half-human, half-machine, and your squishy bits are being replaced by mechanical components.
7. LOVECRAFTIAN. You've heard their song, the terrors from beyond the stars, and even no they sing in your blood as your flesh transmutes into something ineffable and unknowable. You revel in the pain. You feel even as you seek to spread it, to herald the end of all things... Or maybe worse. You're aware of the transition as your mind becomes not your own.
8. FUSION/HIVEMIND. You've begun to fuse with the first person who tagged you - physically, mental, or both. Soon, you can't tell who is who, which one of you is the real you, as your thoughts become one. Join in the flesh song, mortal.
9. INANIMATE. Your body slowly petrifies and hardens, tuning to stone, wood, glass, or something stranger still. Or perhaps you liquefy or maybe you dissolve into the air itself.
10. WILDCARD. Pick whatever you like, combine a few options, or make up your own.

VII. HIGH SCHOOL AU

1. CLASS TIME. Pick your class, pick your seat. Whether you're paying attention or goofing off, you're interacting constantly with someone else.
2. BREAK TIME. Those precious minutes that aren't lunch, usually half an hour if you're lucky. Are you hanging out on the grass, rushing to get homework finished, or bunking off school early?
3. LUNCH TIME. Food, glorious food! ... As long as you're not eating the school lunches. What sort of chaos will you get up to in the endless queue that is the lunch line?
4. FOOD FIGHT. The natural reaction to being served school lunches: throwing them as far away from you as possible. You're caught in the middle, or maybe you're instigating it. Who knows? No one can tell.
5. STUDY PERIOD. Yeah. "Studying." They mean catching up on gossip, right? Or watching that crappy TV in the common room? Or maybe you really want to study. I'm not judging.
6. SKIPPING SCHOOL. Did you even get to school before you bunked off somewhere? Or did you just take the bus five stops further and in to town? Hope you don't get caught, either way.
7. EXAM WEEK. You're going into an exam, or just cramming every last bit of knowledge into your head. Either way, good luck! You're going to need it.
8. DETENTION. What did you do? Or were you innocent and wrapped up in your friend's scheme, and now you both have detention? I do not envy you at any rate.
9. SUMMER HOLIDAY. SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER! Burn your books, burn your uniforms. Everything is over for another 6 weeks (or however long you get off).
10. FACULTY. Oh, hello miss/sir. No, we weren't talking about bunking. Yep, you're the teacher. IMPORTANT NOTE: If you get this option, you or your partner can do a second roll for the scenario.
11. TAKE YOUR PICK. Free for you. Whether you want to pick something from the list, or make up your own scenario, this option allows that. (Of course, you could just bypass the rolling entirely.)

VIII. APOCALYPSE HOW

1. LAST ACTION HERO. You tried your best to save the world, but despite the superpowers, the teamwork, and the sacrifice of many good friends, you couldn't quite pull it off. Now you're left with your guilt and a universe where half the people left are depending on you to help them, while the rest are trying to hunt you down for your failures. Good luck with that, hero.
2. SCIENCE SAVIOR. They said it was impossible, they said it was futile, but you know that if you just got a little bit of support you could fix all of the world's troubles. Maybe your experiments are a bit on the unethical side, but the survival of humanity is depending on you! You can't let the world down. Time to grab those test-tubes and get yourself a lab assistant that doesn't mind getting their hands dirty.
3. THE LAST PERSON ON EARTH. Well, it's finally happened. A virus or disease or genetic mutation has all but wiped out members of the opposite sex and humanity is doomed. But what's this? A lone survivor? As the savior of the species, they'll be glad to lend a hand (or reproductive organ) to help restore the population, right? Maybe a little bit of persuasion is in order.
4. SO LONELY. You haven't talked to another person in days and you're starved for conversation. So when you finally meet another lone traveler it makes total sense to stick together, right? Maybe share some food, some companionship, some ammo. . . . Better hope you both get along.
5. MUTATION STATION. The bomb dropped and some people weren't fortunate enough to go in the blast. Now those left behind have to deal with nuclear winter, a dwindling food supply, and some strange additions to the human gene code. Maybe these super-humans are friendly and misunderstood. Then again, maybe they just want to eat your brains.
6. LAST DANCE. The world is ending. You know it, everyone knows it, so the only thing left to do is party like it's 1999. Complete your bucket list, do the things you never got the chance to do before, and maybe screw up the courage to do the things you were too scared to even think about doing. Oh, and watch out for looters.
7. FREEBIE SCENARIO. Anything you can think of that isn't already mentioned can go here.

IX. PARANOIA

1. EROTOMANIA. That person loves you. They belong to you. They might deny it and be with someone else but they're ridiculous. You know better here.
2. DISTRUST. Simple as it sounds, you're being lied to. You can't prove it but you're not falling for their tricks anymore.
3. HALLUCINATIONS. A vague classic. Those sounds, those sights, your senses are screwed up and the world is upside down. There's plenty of senses to screw.
4. TAINTED. You're completely wrong. Is it in your family's blood? Is it parasites? A disease? Aliens? A sin? But it's consuming you, whatever it is.
5. CONSPIRACY. Why are they after you? Who knows. Maybe you know. But everyone is in on it and you're the only one left fighting against it.
6. CONTROL. Your actions aren't your own, even if others insist they are. Somehow, either drugs or magic or something, someone is making you their puppet.
7. FIXATION. Either it's in you or someone else or a thing but this imperfection is clawing at your mind. Just fix it. Fix it and you can rest.
8. FOLIE A DEUX. The more either you or the other person talks, the more you feed into this unease and the more real it sounds. What can you two alone do?
9. REPLACEMENTS. Is it just this person or is everyone being replaced with a fake? You're not a fake, though. You won't let them replace you.
10. REAL. Is any of this real? Maybe you're dreaming or drugged. Maybe you're dead. But you need to prove that this is really happening, whatever it takes.

X. Texts From Last Night

1. Pick a character or leave that up to me
2. Go here (or make something up, insert a tfln gif whatever)
3. Comment.
4. See where it takes us!

XI. RANDOM LOCATION

1. LOST. Oh shit, how did you even get here.
2. ON THE RUN. Getting away from someone or something that's after you.
3. TREASURE HUNTING. Something you desire is here. Maybe it's being guarded or you're competing for it.
4. TRAVELLING. You turned up here on purpose. Why is up to you.
5. ESCAPE. Things have gone wrong and you need to get out of this place.
6. DISASTER. Something awful has happened whether you're the cause, a witness or there to help.
7. INVASION. It's a siege! Are you defending or attacking?
8. HOME. It's actually where you live.
9. DUEL. The predetermined location to end a feud.
10. WHATEVER. Just make something up, whatever.

XII. STOP! SOMEONE IS NAKED IN YOUR...

1. BED. Waking up after a wild night or just getting ready for bed?
2. OFFICE. Getting a leg up at work? Caught in a moment of indiscretion?
3. YARD. Someone's been communing with nature...
4. CAR. The warmth of a heater during snowfall... or the air conditioner during a melting summer.
5. BEACH. Oh look, there's a floating swimsuit... and there's its owner.
6. RIVER. God, can't even fish without hooking the wrong species.
7. BATTLEFIELD. Oops, someone looted the wrong corpse... who isn't actually a corpse.
8. SCHOOL. All right, who's been raiding the locker room?
9. BATHROOM. . . . Oh, hey, who needs a shower, right?
10. PARK. Sun and grass and lots of people to . . . watch . . . oh my.
11. . . . CLOTHES?? Okay, technically they are clothed, but it's not their clothes dammit.
12. OTHER. Because there are way, way too many more places than I can think of)

XIII. INTIMACY

1. PHYSICAL INTIMACY. It might just be innocent touches or it might be foreplay.
2. LONG CONVERSATIONS. Honest words can be more intimate than touch.
3. DRUNK. You're over-sharing or simply maudlin.
4. FORCED INTIMACY. Magic. A truth serum, whatever - you didn't mean to bare your soul, but that is precisely what you're doing right now.
5. SLOW-DANCING. There is something inherently intimate about trusting someone else to lead you, and someone trust you to lead them.
6. OTHER. Intimacy can come in many forms. Pick your poison.

XIV. OTHER

1. BOUNTY HUNTERS. You're wanted. And someone is chasing you. Maybe it isn't your fault? But maybe you did rob that bank. Either way, there's someone after that price on your head. Confront them, or run? Specify hunter or hunted.
2. TRUTH. You can't tell a lie. Maybe both of you can't, or only one of you, but now is the time to ask those embarrassing questions.
3. OBEDIENCE. The person posting is compelled to obey, no matter what. (Un)Fortunately the person commenting is compelled to give orders. All orders given must be obeyed.
4. LOTUS EATERS. The person posting is trapped in their own dream of personal paradise. The person commenting is trapped with them. Help free them, or fall into paradise?
5. PLANTS OF DEATH. Plants are trying to kill you. (Something's . . . happening.)
6. INSOMNIA. One or both of you can't sleep, and that sucks. Be awake together.
7. DREAMWALKING. One of you is trapped in the other's dream - or nightmare.
8. SOULMATES. You are meant to be, whether the relationship is functional or . . . less so. Maybe you've just met and yet you know this person (previous lives okay here).
9. PICTURE/QUOTE PROMPT. Throw a bunch of pictures and/or quotes around and see what happens, free-form style! Try RP Visualosities or A Sea Of Quotes.
10. OTHER-WORLDLY. Go to the Other-Wordly blog and hit 'Random' until you get a word. Use the word as a prompt to write up an RP scenario. Do this several times if you like. Mix & match.

Comments

[stillplaying]

And she's grateful too. She's been grateful every single second up until now. Right now she wants to just disappear. Be anywhere but in the loft that she now calls home. She'd even take being back in that arena over this. Anything to avoid the awkwardness that's suddenly blooming up between them. She's failed, hasn't she? For all he says being in his lap will make him feel good, she knows that this isn't how it works. This is when she'd be kicked out without pay, back to the closet-sized room allocated to her at the arena.

Freedom is awful because freedom leads to this. More mistakes. That's all she's made since the Games. Mistake after mistake. And for all Matt indicates that he wants her to stay in his lap, she's certain that he doesn't.

At least he can't see the redness in her face. Or the way that tears of frustration and rejection sting her eyes. But he can probably feel the heat in her cheeks or smell her tears or something ridiculous like that.

"How?" she questions. Katniss watches as he pulls his sweatpants back up, finally allowing a bit of a scowl to fill her face. She stays in his lap only because she doesn't know where else to go. Well, she could just leave. Maybe she should just leave. Practically everything she owns now have been clothes donated by Matt. There's no reason to take them with her.

"You're still hard. Most..." Katniss trails off, swallowing hard. There are things she doesn't want to say but Matt's smart and she had been dumb. He's probably put it together anyway. "They never payed me for cuddling."

[preemptiveforgiveness]

She has no reason to embarrassed or ashamed and that certainly wasn't Matt's intention. He'd just wanted to slow things down, to take things slow even. This isn't a one night stand nor is it an encounter like she's accustomed to. She hasn't failed and she doesn't know how it works. This is how it works in a relationship, which is what Matt wants to give a shot with her.

This isn't a mistake, and hopefully before the night is over, she'll come to realize that. There really is nowhere he'd rather have her than in his lap right now.

He can sense both, but he's not about to bring it to anyone's attention. He knows she's embarrassed and frustrated. He won't add to that.

He takes a calming, deep breath before he answers. "Because it makes me feel loved and safe. It makes me feel good because I believe, I hope, that it's making you feel the same way. It's not as intense a feeling as an orgasm," he admits, "but it lasts a lot longer. I'll go to bed tonight feeling warm, safe and loved. I'll fall asleep thinking about being wrapped up in you on this couch." Yes, it makes him very vulnerable to admit all of this, to put it all into words, but he figures she's laid just as bare right now, so he might as well join her.

The chuckle he lets out has an awkward edge. "Yeah...that's probably not going to change with you in my lap, but I'm not going to make decisions with my dick. I'm not sixteen anymore." His heart plummets at her confession. He'd suspected, yes, but to have it confirmed in words hurts. "Katniss," he tells her softly, tenderly, "I'm not paying you. I'm trying to date you."

[stillplaying]

She'll realize that later. When all of her emotions aren't bubbling at the surface and threatening to make her explode. The only people that she's ever known to love her in her life have been her parents and sister. It's hard to think anyone else might actually love her, especially given who Katniss has become. There's nothing about her worth loving now and yet? This has to be a dream or a mistake or something like that. There have been too many good things in her life lately. How can she possibly deserve any more?

But somehow, he's giving her more. It's slowly (very slowly) starting to sink in. This isn't a mistake. He wants her. He wants her in his life on a permanent basis. Not a one-night stand, not every few months when the desire hits him. It should relieve her but it just makes her more frustrated. She still doesn't understand. Before tonight, everything had been black and white between them. Relatively simple. It's far from that now.

Especially when he speaks. This time the tears do fall. When was the last time she's felt safe and loved? She's not sure. Sex had never been about that. It had been all about the orgasm and the money she could get for that service. She'd go to bed hating herself, not feeling warm, safe, and loved. And while the people she serviced would go to bed smug and satisfied, she knew that she meant absolutely nothing to them. He's laying everything bare right now, putting all his cards on the table, and though it hurts to hear someone care for her this much, it's because she didn't think it was possible.

She looks down at her wrists still being held tight in his hands. Her eyes linger on the bulge obvious within his sweatpants. Then she looks up at him, studying the expression on his face. His eyes might not focus on her but the sincerity is clear within his features anyway. He's not just saying this. He has no reason to; she had made it very clear that she'd give him whatever he wanted tonight. Katniss leans in then to press a kiss on the corner of his mouth. She's going to mess this up, always acting before thinking, but right now she doesn't care. Feeling loved is a heady feeling. The best aphrodisiac she's ever experienced. "I love you," she murmurs, kissing him more deeply this time. Though her kisses are still every bit seductive as they had been before, there's also something more joyous about them. A little more innocent and happy. "I love you, Matt."

[preemptiveforgiveness]

He loves her because of who she still is despite all the things she's done. Not everyone could have survived what she did and Matt loves that about her. He'll reassure her that it's not as often as she needs him to. He's a patient man. She's going to have to get used to the good things. That's not to say that nothing bad will ever happen again. Plenty bad has happened to Matt since he chose to become Daredevil, but plenty good has a well. That's sort of the way life is, he's learned: it's a mixture of good and bad. She's had a long stretch of bad and she's due some good.

At least it's sinking in. She can take as much time as necessary realizing it as long as she does realize it. Matt has had plenty of one night stands in his life, but they're not what he wants anymore, which is why he hasn't had one in a while. His professional life and life in general is far too complicated to bring someone that he doesn't know well and may not want to stick around into that complicated life. Besides all of that, Katniss isn't someone he wants to have a one night stand with. That's one reason he's been so hesitant to start anything with her; he knows it's a long term situation and not a one night stand. Yes, things will get more complicated between them, but they'll also get more rewarding.

He knows when those tears start to fall, but he also knows that the reason she's crying isn't particularly bad. He's getting a lot of mixed emotions off her right now, but that's probably pretty normal considering. When they do have sex, it won't be like that. It'll be something entirely different, something that she wants and that makes her feel loved. It be about mutual pleasure. It will also probably end in cuddling.

When she leans in to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, he lets her wrists go. This isn't a trick or a spiel. He is sincere and passionate about what he's saying and he does want her both physically and emotionally, which is why this is so awkward and complicated. He thinks it's worth it though and even if he wanted to, it would be too hard to separate his emotions for her from the physical aspect of things. Matt would only end up getting his heart broken if they didn't have this talk. She's not going to mess it up, and kissing him certainly doesn't mess anything up. His heart clenches when she says she loves him. There's so many reasons why she shouldn't, but she does and he loves her so there's little point in fighting against that. He slides one hand up her back to rest at the nape of her neck. "I love you too," he whispers because he does, regardless of how much he's tried to fight it and tonight, the things he's learned, has only made him love her more.

[stillplaying]

She's strong. Definitely a survivor. But those aren't reasons for love in her opinion. They're only character traits that succeeded in keeping her alive. Most people could care less if someone's strong or capable of surviving through traumatic events. They either are or they aren't. It's amazing that anyone could love her at all, let alone for those qualities. Katniss has no illusions that life will be good from here on out. No one's life is that perfect. Life hasn't even been all good since moving in with Matt. But in comparison to what it had been?

That much she can understand. She's seen how complicated his life is, lawyer during the day and superhero at night. Either job on its own is time-consuming. Both together? That he's spent a lot of his precious (and she presumes rare to come by)free time with her means a lot. It helps to make his affections easier to accept. They've been their since day one. Katniss has just misinterpreted the hows of it all. This will never be a one night stand. Not unless she's too afraid to push forward with the relationship.

She knows how sensitive Matt is to touch. It's the reason why he has the most luxurious sheets that Katniss has ever slept in. That he'd find her just as... luxurious, for lack of better word, to hold tight to his body is surprising to her. He has to care for her if that's what he wants. If he wants her to be able to enjoy herself as much as he does when they have sex, he has to love her. Right? Because that's what people in love do. At least, that's what she grew up thinking until she was too old to know better. Regardless of what he wants, Katniss won't hesitate to do anything he asks.

As soon as her wrists are free, she wraps her arms around his neck. Her chest presses in to his and were it not for the back of the couch, she'd wrap her legs around his waist. Instead she continues to straddle him, kneeling and pressing her legs as close to his thighs as possible. She's never been this close to a man without being fully naked. It's strange but that nice kind of strange. Katniss knows that he means every word, especially those last four. He loves her. A child-killer who doubled as a prostitute. But he loves her.

Katniss knows that there's a lot more to talk about. There are things she needs to admit to him. More details about her past, all that middle that she's been too afraid to bring up. What'll happen next between them. But right now, she doesn't want to discuss any of that. Hasn't she satisfied his need for slow? Katniss kisses him again, fingers playing with the strands at the nape of his neck. She moves her body suggestively against his. She can't talk anymore. She's happy. And she wants to make the happiness last. Katniss trails kisses along his jawline before tugging at his earlobe. "Tell me what you want," she whispers into his ear. Her breath catches in her throat before she adds in, "love."

Even if it's just to sleep beside him for the rest of the night, she'll do it. He's won her over completely with this four words.

[preemptiveforgiveness]

Different people see various qualities as attractive. Matt likes strength in people. He admires those that have survived something traumatic haven't let it ruin them. She's got other qualities that make him love her as well such as she's smart and funny. He appreciates her dry humor and her sarcasm. He'll settle for giving her a life with enough good in it.

He doesn't sleep a lot and probably looks perpetually exhausted, but ti's something he's grown accustomed to. He rarely even notices it anymore. He's also lucky that he's able to stay home some days and either work from there or just take the day off to sleep (which he does on occasion), but yes: his life is complicated; it's probably always going to be complicated. What she doesn't realize is that he wants to take free time to spend with her. Yes, he occasionally goes out with Foggy and sometimes Karen accompanies them, but that's not terribly common (maybe next time, Katniss will meet them). Yes, his affections have been there since day one. At first they'd just been that of someone concerned about a young girl. They'd evolved over the time she's spent here to that of a friend and more recently they've turned romantic. He does hope that she won't be too afraid to push forward with the relationship, but he'll also give her time to move forward at her own pace.

It's a heady feeling being wrapped up in someone like this, especially with Matt's sense. He bows his head to nestle his nose in the crook of her neck and takes a deep breath. For the most part, he uses unscented shampoos and body washes so all that he smells right now is Katniss, her skin and her breath, her hair and the warmth of her. It's a slightly spicy, green scent, but also something deeper and darker like amber and fire. His breath catches when she moves against him and his swallows hard. His heart is beating harder and faster again. He can't help the breathy groan he lets out when she catches his earlobe between her teeth. Happy is good. It's a mutual sort of happiness.

He pulls back to rest his forehead against hers. "You," he tells her in a husky voice. "Just you." He dips his head to catch her bottom lip between his teeth, biting it lightly before crushing his lips to hers.

[stillplaying]

Different people do see different qualities as attractive. For Katniss, his strength had appealed to her as well. But it had been his compassion that had really caught her attention. Of course Katniss had known there were superheroes out there. You had to be an idiot to still deny their existence. But the Avengers seemed more concerned with saving the world than the average citizen. It's noble but not nearly as noble as a man willing to risk his life and existence for one person. She never knew that men like Matt had existed. Maybe, if she's lucky, she can wind up being like him some day.

Though she'll just as willingly settle for being with him. Katniss doesn't care about the looks they sometimes get when he does succeed in getting her out of the apartment with him. She doesn't care about the looks that they will get as a couple. Twenty years doesn't matter. She could never date someone her own age anyway. They wouldn't understand. But he does. He's understood from the start. He's everything that she needs in her life. She got lucky that he grew to agree on that circumstance. She just has to be brave enough to keep growing herself.

She can't imagine how she might be overwhelming Matt's senses right now. The thought barely crosses her mind. Maybe later she'll think about it. Make sure that it's okay for her to be close to him on a regular basis. She's started to use his unscented shampoos and body washes only recently, not wanting to disturb his daily routine any more than she already has. To her, with her average senses, he just smells like Matt, like home. She does catch the way his heart has started to beat crazily again and she doesn't doubt that he's noticed. That's okay. She wants him to notice every reaction she has to him. Because she has absolutely no doubt that his groans and breathy exhales are definitely turning her own.

Katniss can't pin point what it is exactly that ultimately breaks any walls and control she has left: his husky murmur of 'you' or the way he kisses her seconds later. She moans loudly when he bites her lip, unable to stop herself from reacting. Nails dig into his neck and she moves herself against him again. She kisses him back hard, biting and tasting and practically devouring his mouth as if the kiss is more necessary for her survival than anything else she's ever done. Maybe it is. "I'm clean," she remembers to mumble at some point during the kiss. "Have me."

[preemptiveforgiveness]

The first time Matt put on a mask and became the daredevil it was because of one person, a little girl with a father that sneaked into her bedroom at night. He used to hear her crying a few apartments over. He'd beat the man senseless and told him that if he ever touched his daughter again, he would know and he'd come back. He'd listened in for years just to make certain. After that, his vigilante stints were infrequent and personal. He'd only really begun in earnest after the mess in New York. Hell's kitchen had taken a beating and they'd needed a hero. He'd decided to become that. If she's serious about being his sidekick, he'll train her. It's something that they're going to have to talk a lot about.

Matt has thought about those looks, about what people will say and think. It's one of the reasons that he's hesitated to let things take a romantic turn until now. It's more like twelve years, but all the same they'll get more than a few looks. It's possible that this is a conversation they'll some day have, but right now it's not something that Matt is thinking about. She'll keep growing because he'll keep pushing her outside her comfort zone. He doesn't want her to change, but he does want her to grow.

She's not overwhelming them. It's the perfect amount of whelming. In sound, smell, touch and taste, he's completely enveloped in her and he likes that. It's so rare that he can focus all his senses on one thing and one person. This is exactly how he wants it. He is glad she started using his unscented stuff, but he never would have told her that. She's a girl and if she wants floral and fruity scented things she ought to have them. He's learned to block scents out for the most part when he has to, but he really likes not having to block the scent of Katniss out. He knows listening to her heart is an invasion of privacy of some sort, but right now he's not thinking about that either. She's entirely responsible for those groans and breathy exhales so it's a good thing that she likes them.

That moan of hers completely undoes him, shredding every last bit of resistance that he's got. Her nails in his skin, the way she moves against him and kisses him like it's the only important thing in the world that makes him absolutely certain this is what he wants, partially because he's absolutely certain with those reactions that she wants this as well. She's not doing it because she feels like she has to (or she's a better actress than he gave her credit for). It's a bit of a shock when she says she's clean because he hadn't even thought of that. He probably should have, but he hadn't focused on that part of her situation. He'd been too concerned with what it had done to her emotionally. "I didn't--I never even thought of that," he says when the kiss breaks. "I should probably still use a condom. I don't think either one of us are ready for a baby." Because he doesn't want her to think that he doesn't believe her. He kisses her lips again then her forehead. "Hang on tight," he says sliding his hands to the backs of her thighs. He gives her a moment to grab tightly to his neck then stands up, hoping she'll wrap her legs around his waist. He tilts his head up to kiss her again as they start toward the bedroom.

[stillplaying]

What Matt had done was still more than most people would do. New Yorkers are raised from birth to turn a blind eye to the rest of the city. Matt's different. Special. It doesn't matter that the Daredevil had started as a way to make a difference for those important to him. It hadn't stayed that way. He does more for this city than the people payed to protect it. How can anyone not know that and love him for it? She had never given much credence to the ideas of damsels in distress or knights in shining armor. Then she met Matt and it became utterly clear how easy it could be to fall for a knight in shining armor.

He really shouldn't think about those looks. If he wants, Katniss will happily tell them all to go fuck themselves. They don't know her, or him for that matter. They don't know what she's been through. There are too many other there that would judge Katniss for doing what she had to in order to survive. It's why she hasn't let anyone but Matt in, why she's still skeptical about his friends and the Father. She has no time to let others judge her. That, at least, will never change.

She is a girl but even before the Games, she never had the time for those floral scents other girls her age seemed to favor. Katniss had been too busy to keep her family fed and sheltered to care about makeup or perfume or nicely scented soaps. She had only purchased the floral scents because they were cheaper and Katniss was determined not to have Matt pay for everything. But he doesn't seem to care as much as she thought he might. And she likes the idea that he enjoys her natural scent. She wishes that he could see her properly. He can't. She won't be angry if he uses all his other senses to observe everything else about her. He can invade her privacy all he wants; Katniss meant it when she said he could have her. He can have her in any way he wants.

Was that all it took? A simple moan, an uncontrolled response to his kiss and words? Katniss hadn't realized it would be that simple. All she had to do was lose control herself. And it had been easy. It had been oh, so easy. She never thought it would be. She always stayed in strict control of herself when pleasuring her client, even if the client wante to be the one in control. All the noises, all her kisses and caresses were well thought out. She'd try her damnedest to leave as little as possible to any other circumstance. But Matt had taken that control away completely. More than that, Katniss had been happy to give it to him.

She laughs as he explains his response. He didn't need to explain his preference towards a condom. Katniss has no desire for a child, either. Not right now. Matt could have walked away from her at any point in the night. He probably should have walked away when she admitted to the prostitution. But he hadn't. He trusts her to be something more than she thinks herself capable of being. Hasn't he realized any of that?

"I love you," she says again. Laughter and sex have never gone together before. Is this what he meant by having her enjoy herself, too? Matt is strong but even if he wasn't, Katniss is certain she's as light as a feather right now. She's so happy, so aroused, and so alive that she's certain she could float away on a cloud. Her legs wrap around his waist without hesitation. She angles one heel to rub against his ass as he walks towards the bedroom. Keeping one arm securely wrapped around his neck, Katniss slips her hand underneath his tee. Kissing him just isn't enough. Waiting until they're both on the bed won't do.

[preemptiveforgiveness]

He's never really had to deal with that because most people don't know that Matt is Daredevil. Karen knows, but she'd always seem more attracted to Foggy, which Matt has always been fine with. He'd like to see his two friends happy together. Katniss is his first brush with the whole knight in shining armor phenomenon and he's okay with her being his last.

She needn't do that and he knows that she's right, but that doesn't mean that he won't occasionally be insecure because of those looks and those judgments. He'll want to make certain that she's still okay with them and the looks and judgments don't bother her. That is an admirable quality as well because so many people build their lives around others' judgment. Matt isn't that reliant on popular opinion, but it does bother him more than he'd like.

It's shampoo and body wash. He certainly doesn't mind her using it and he doesn't mind paying for everything. He's glad that he can afford to do so. Honestly, it doesn't cost much more to have her around than it does when it's just him. He does see her, just not the way that everyone else does. He's given her the 'world on fire' speech so she knows 'how' he sees and technically 'what' he sees and no, it's nothing like anyone else. He can't 'see' her expressions, but he has a good idea of what she's feeling based on everything that he can discern. All of that being said, he would love to be able to see her just one time. He'd love to be able to see the sky and the city, the sun and so much more again. It will be nice to be able to relax around her, to be able to cease worrying about whether he ought to be listening to her heartbeat (sometimes it's soothing) or not.

It had been a real response and that had been the important part, a sign that she was enjoying this, that she did want him. He's got every intention of making sure that she loses control more this evening, at least that's what he hopes for. He doesn't want this night to be anything like any of the other nights she'd spent with other people. He wants her to realize that sex is fun and not a job; it's all about give and take and pleasure.

No, he really hasn't realized any of that yet. He's still afraid of hurting her, of offending her, of saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing and confirming every horrible thing she's ever thought about people and sex.

He can't help but smile at her words, pausing to kiss her again before continuing through the bedroom door. Laughter and sex should sometimes go together and yes, it's part of what he'd meant about her enjoying herself. This is how she should feel a good part of her life and he hopes that she can recapture this feeling more and more. He feels like his entire body is vibrating in the best way possible. He's all heat and tingles, all straining and wanting and needing laced with that same happiness that Katniss is experiencing, that same feeling of being alive. He lets out a sound that's part gasp, part laugh when she rubs her heel against his ass and slips her hand against his skin. When she does that it feels like everything he is focuses in on that spot where her hand is pressed. He wants to feel her hands touching every inch of his skin; he wants to feel her skin pressed against his. He practically stumbles into the bedroom, falling down with her on the bed, catching himself on his elbows so he doesn't fall on her. There's a laugh playing around the corners of his lips and in his throat even as he slides his hands underneath her tee shirt and begins to nip at her neck.

[stillplaying]

She had wondered about Karen and Matt, not knowing much of the relationship that existed between the three friends to begin with. It had seemed simple enough to her: Karen was beautiful, Matt handsome. She's also a strong woman who had managed to preserve her own sense of humor despite a crappy life of her own - and someone much closer to his age. The romance had made sense in her head, anyway. But apparently she had been wrong about that, too.

To a degree, Katniss understands why he'd be insecure about their relationship. He does have his practice to consider and any dirt smearing his name won't help his career. But Katniss can't bring herself to care too much about that, about what anyone else might think. She's lost so much and if Matt wants her in his life, she has every intention to be selfish about it. She'll just ignore those assholes, or tell them to fuck off. He doesn't have to do anything.

She minds. But so long as she continues being incapable of holding a job for more than a couple of weeks, she doesn't have much money to spend. Especially when she tries to throw every penny into her sister's bank account. Matt's too generous for his his own good, at least when it comes to her. She should stop taking advantage of his kindness but every time she comes close, she reminds herself that the more money she saves, the better they can afford college for Prim. Her sister will never have to live the kind of life that Katniss has. She can become the doctor that she wants to be. Maybe even figure out a way to restore Matt's sight. Wouldn't that be some sort of amazing kind of karma? Then maybe he could finally see Katniss outside of a world on fire.

She's enjoyed most of her time with Matt. It has, as a whole, been so much better than her old life. But tonight is better than most. Even the conversation, for however terrifying it had been at the time, delights her now. Katniss would have absolutely no complaint if he works on making her lose every shed of control that she still maintains. It's never been like that before. Already, nothing about tonight has been like the other nights. It'll never compare. It'll always be better.

She murmurs happily when he kisses her again and continues to make a number of happy mewling sound every time that he does something to please her. A kiss, a touch, the gasps and moans of his own that make her feel so smug and so alive. Tumbling on to the bed just serves to make her laugh again. The laugh doesn't last long. As soon as he bites her neck, she finds herself moaning again and curling her fingers against his abdomen. Her hips buck against his and her eyes close. As much as she wants Matt to see her like this, sight isn't important right now. All those other sense - touch and taste and sound and smell - they serve to illustrate the moment just as clearly. Her hand slides further up his chest, stroking at every bit of skin that she can find. She alternates with pressure during her explorations, sometimes pressing her fingertips or nails harder into his skin every now and then.

[preemptiveforgiveness]

There had never really been anything romantic between Matt and Karen. They were friends and yes, she was beautiful, strong, smart and much closer to Matt's age than Katniss, but Karen isn't the one that Matt can't stop thinking about.

Honestly, the fact that it might hurt his practice hasn't really crossed his mind at all. He can't understand why someone would base their choice of lawyer on said lawyer's legal personal relationship. Yes, Katniss might be twelve years younger than him, but she's eighteen and legal in all 50 states. He worries more about it in a more private-public forum. He is, however, perfectly okay with her being selfish in that regard. In the end, the only two people who should care about it is Katniss and him. Her age certainly doesn't bother him personally because she isn't some naive, innocent, sheltered teenager. She's seen more than people three times her age and survived.

She'll find something that suits her eventually. She just needs to keep looking. Matt will eventually urge her to go get her GED and perhaps go to a community college or something like that. She's got such potential and so much to offer the world, not that she sees that now, but Matt does. He wants Prim to do well, to go to college, to become a doctor because it's obvious how passionate Katniss is about that very thing. Perhaps as a Columbia University Law School alumni he can see about suggesting her for a scholarship or something.

It had been an awkward, terrifying conversation that had led to something wonderful, something that Matt hadn't been able to imagine it would lead to when they'd started the conversation. Good, because very little is going to dissuade him from that goal. He intends to make all of her nights better from now on.

He does enjoy those happy little sounds, feeling the same sort of smug power that she feels when he manages to get a groan or a gasp out of him. His laugh doesn't last long either. He's got far more important things to do like nibble at her neck and taste her skin. He swallows hard, catching his breath as her hips buck against him and he slides his hands down to her hips then beneath her shirt, pushing it up as he explores her skin, still nuzzling at her neck, the hollow beneath her ear and finally back up to her lips. He moves his hips against her, pressing and rubbing hard as he kisses her.

[stillplaying]

Matt and Karen had made more sense on paper. If Matt had to pick a damaged woman to love, he should have picked one with more maturity. Someone so much prettier than Katniss; not that looks necessarily matter all that much to the blind. A lot of her thoughts stem from her own issues with inadequacy. That she could never be good enough for anyone like Matt.

There. That's all he has to remember if he ever has doubts. She's eighteen. She's legal. And she's accepted that she's fallen in love with him. Katniss had never wanted to fall in love with anyone, not when she knows how much it can cost. But life never works out the way you plan it. That she knows all too well. She loves him and she's happy with him and she's never going to let anyone change her mind about that. At least for as long as Matt loves her in return.

Maybe getting her GED wouldn't be so bad. Going to college. Actually doing something with her life rather than just living for others. But it would be along while before that can happen. All her money needs to go towards Prim's education right now and the little bit she keeps for herself goes to pay for her keep within Matt's loft. She could take GRE courses at night, especially if her next job is during the daytime. There's still a lot to think about. So many possibilities that she never thought she would have.

As long as he comes home alive from his patrols, Katniss' nights are already made better. But she'll be happy to share his bed with him rather than have it to herself. She'll be happy to cede control to Matt every night if those nights wind up being as good as tonight. This is something wonderful. Better than she could ever imagine.

She's had sex more times than she can count and, although rare, sometimes it did feel good. She often faked orgasms rather than actually experience them. Nothing about tonight needs to be faked, not given the way Matt's already making her feel. His mouth is hot and wet against her neck and the way he nibbles at her skin just makes her want more. Harder bites, softer bites, she doesn't care. Katniss just wants to feel every part of him against every part of her. It's a wish that seems to be easy for Matt to grant. She crushes her lips to his again as soon as she can, tongue entering his mouth without hesitation. Her fingers curl against his chest when he begins to rub himself against her - an action that Katniss eagerly reciprocates. She knows that Matt wants to go slow but everything is heat and fire and passion to her right now. Wanting in a way she never did. Slow isn't quite on her mind.

[preemptiveforgiveness]

Love certainly wasn't part of his plan either. He'd been fairly sure that it would simply complicate things; it would put more people in danger and he never wanted that. However, he has fallen in love with Katniss, regardless of her age or her background. He simply might need a reminder every now and then that she's with him because she loves him, not because she feels obligated to him.

Perhaps not as long as she thinks, but Matt wouldn't ever suggest that Prim's education not come first. Katniss has given up far too much and gone through far too much for that. That's all Matt wants: for Katniss to consider the possibilities that she's got in her life now. She's got a second chance. He wants her to take it.

He's going to try. Matt has never had a death wish. He simply wants to make the city a better place. He wants to make Hell's Kitchen a better place. As for sharing the bed and ceding control, he's okay with that as long as she is. This is all he really wanted when he kept trying to get her to slow down: he wants her to realize how good this can be.

It's good that she didn't always hate it. That would probably give her a lot of issues where sex was concerned and he's glad that she's not dealing with that. He certainly hopes that nothing needs to be faked tonight. Of course, given all his super senses, it'd probably be pretty hard to fake anyway with him. He bites hard enough to leave little marks then covers them with kisses.It's an easy wish for Matt to grant because it's what he wants as well. His tongue tangles with hers and the kiss consumes him as he rocks against her. Mostly he wants her to enjoy this, to want this. Right now, he's not even thinking about slow. He's thinking about the way she feels and how he can't possibly get close enough to her. Her shirt is bunched up around her upper body and he breaks the kiss, his breathing heavy. "Can I?" he asks, his hand sliding to her shirt, asking permission to take her shirt off.

[stillplaying]

Is love ever part of the plan? Or loss? She knows the answer to that without question. Of course not. If it were, she wouldn't be here right now. If it were, her mother wouldn't have broken so completely when Katniss' father died. She might regret giving in so easily to love someday but today isn't that day. Maybe that day won't ever come and she'll live a life with Matt different than that lived by Mr. and Mrs. Everdeen. Unlikely given Matt's career(s) of choice. Or Katniss' determination to join him in the vigilante business.

He's too good for her. He's never even met Prim (for their safety, Katniss still keeps her family at arm's reach) and he's willing to help her sister regardless. And this is on top of all the he already gives her. As far as Katniss is concerned, she's met the perfect man. No one could be better.

And nothing he's done so far has given her any indication to think otherwise. Even if his insistence to slow down had driven her crazy with frustration and fear, he's only had her best interest in heart. He's always only had her best interest in heart. Katniss realizes this now. He's attentive to every response she has. But none of this has to do with stoking his own ego. He really does want her to enjoy herself, doesn't he?

She still has a number of issues where sex is concerned. Not fully comprehending that it can be more than just a transaction is one of them. Thinking that she's worthwhile, that she could be more than a breathing sex toy to people. It'll take a while to think that sex should be about love and not about transaction. She'll be confused in the morning. Fearful and worried about what all of this means. About how easy it had been for her to give up the control that's always been a definitive part of sex. All because of love.

That'll be in the morning, when she looks in the mirror and notices the marks and feels a strange mix of satisfaction along with the nauseated feeling of self-hatred that she's used to. But right now, every bite is met with a pleased groan. Everything is consuming her, everything about him and how warm and solid he is. How real Matt is, and the love Matt has for her. Nothing will be close enough. Her eyes open when he breaks the kiss. She inhales and exhales rapidly as she struggles to catch her breath - and do her best not to laugh. He's too considerate for his own good.

"I already told you," she answers, lifting her head to tug at his lower lip. "You can have me." And for once, she's happy to give herself over willingly. She kisses him again, this time placing her lips on the corner of his mouth. "That means," Katniss continues, nipping at his upper lip, "you can do whatever," another kiss, "you want. Anything you want."

[preemptiveforgiveness]

Unfortunately, Katniss is probably right about their future. It doesn't look bright. Claire had told him once that all she remembered from Sunday school were the saints and the martyrs and that they'd both ended up the same way: bloody and dead.

No one is too good for her. That's the first thing she needs to realize. He's being a decent human being and he cares about Katniss.

He's been trying to tell her that.

They'll work on those issues and they will take time. Hopefully she'll talk to him about those issues and concerns and feelings. In the morning, he'll be here (or possibly in the kitchen making breakfast) to reassure her that everything is okay.

He loves the way she struggles to catch her breath, the way he can hear her heart beating so fast, the rush of blood to her skin, and those pleased little groans because they all tell him that she's enjoying herself. He's not too considerate. He's making certain that she's still okay with this.

"Maybe if you keep saying that, I'll believe you," he tells her with the slightest grin before he tugs her shirt up over her head and tosses away. His hands slide up over her ribs and the curve of her breast. He lowers his head to trail kisses across her skin.

[stillplaying]

Then they better make the most of it now. They better make the most of every single second they can have together. Maybe it'll last, maybe it won't. But Katniss refuses to ever end up like her mother. She's survived too much to fall apart if she ever loses Matt. Mostly, she'll just do her best not to lose him period. All the more reason why Katniss will have his back out there in the field sooner rather than later.

Loving Matt is easy when it comes to loving herself. He is a decent human being. More than decent. He's one of the best that she's ever met. Someday when she sees herself as more than what she had been reduced in the past few years, she'll understand that no one is too good for her. That she is deserving of a man like Matt. A man that'll love her.

There are a lot of issues they'll be working on over the next few days, weeks, and maybe if they're lucky, even months or years. She knows that getting involved in a relationship with Matt will be one of the hardest things that she'll have to do. It had gotten easy in the Games. She had become absolutely numb to that life. To everything but her own hatred of herself. Feeling again is a lot harder. She'll need that reassurance.

Compared to most of her experience, he is far too considerate. Far too nice. If she gave that same permission to one of her patrons from the Games, they really would take. They'd take everything and not give a damn if she enjoys it or not. But he's still checking on her, still making sure she's okay with everything. Is it possible to love him any more? Especially given that she has only known him for a few months?

"Anything," she repeats, kissing that smile on his face before he removes her shirt. Being dressed for bed, there's nothing underneath her shirt but bare skin. Katniss sighs happily when Matt runs his hands along her body. Her chest and stomach are covered with subtle scars from the fights and other things that she'd rather not think about. Someone with Matt's sense of touch won't miss them. He teases her with fingertips at her breast and she squirms a little in response. The kisses are an even greater torture, but the best kind of torture that she can think of. Her breath comes out in small pants between words. "No one's ever loved me before. You can have anything. Whatever, however you want. Cause it's what I want. Cause... cause you love me."

[preemptiveforgiveness]

And she wonders why her strength and her ability to survive is admirable. Yes, he wants to live, but if he doesn't, he wants to know that she will survive. She's got the right attitude about a life with him though. She's got the right attitude about life period and maybe it's because of the life she's had.

He's looking forward to that day. He wants to see her confident and happy. He knows that girl is in there somewhere.

Anything real is always hard. It's gritty and painful. It's also so much better than anything fake. He's happy to give her assurance anytime she needs it and probably even when she doesn't.

His fingertips linger on each of those scars. His lips follow them. He presses a kiss over her heart, his fingers gliding across her skin, teasing at her nipples as his mouth meets hers again. He breaks the kiss and nuzzles his nose at the hollow beneath her ear. "I still just want you," he tells in a ragged whisper as he slides his hands down to her hips, pushing the waistband of her pants down a bit.

[stillplaying]

She does wonder. She can't help it. She wonders what good is left within her. It's not that she likes killing but then again, she never put up the same resistance to the fights as other children. She always hated killing those children but she did so anyway. For survival and for money, Katniss did whatever she was told. What about that is admirable? Maybe her attitude about a life with Matt is right. She's not sure of everything else.

She's not even sure of a future where she will be that girl Matt wants her to be, though she likes to imagine it. She'd like to be that girl. Someday, she'd like to be confident in herself and accepting of her past. She'd like to just be happy and in love and a normal girl, one that won't think twice about a happy - and relatively healthy - relationship.

Learning to accept her feelings is, in some ways, a first step. Admitting to Matt that she loves him, being with a man that loves her - they're all good first steps. Katniss is on the way to healing without even realizing what it is she's doing. Acting on instinct instead, both those ingrained and those learned over the past two years, has helped to distract the part of her that thinks it might be better to still be numb.

Katniss normally doesn't think much about the scars but when she does, she tends to find them ugly. But Matt makes her feel beautiful even with the scars. She continues to sigh and squirm as he teases her, gasping when he finds her nipples. Maybe he isn't as considerate as she had thought; he really is a horrible tease. By the time Matt's done with her, Katniss suspect she'll have some idea as to what Matt's sense of touch is like. Every nerve will be on fire.

"I want you, too," she whispers, lifting her hips once his hands move southward. She cranes her head, tilting her face to the side in so Matt can have fully access to her neck. He's a tease yes but she also can't remember the last time anyone paid this much attention to her. She should pay more attention to him, to what his body wants, but this all feels too good. Her fingers thread through his hair and nails dig into his scalp. "I've never wanted anyone before."

[preemptiveforgiveness]

It'll take time, but Matt is convinced that she's a good person. She just needs a break and he's willing to give it to her. He wants to give her that break.

That's what they'll work for: that future.

Those are huge steps and Matt is so, so glad that she's taking them, that he can help her take them. He'd had no idea when he admitted to his feelings for her tonight that this is where it would lead, or that Katniss would take those steps. Matt's father had always told him to trust his heart and Matt thinks that one can rarely go wrong when that happens. That doesn't mean everything will end up perfect, but it's a good start. He doesn't want her to ever be numb again. He understands numb, he's been numb again and he knows why she might want to be numb, but that's not her life anymore and a life lived numb isn't much of a life at all.

His entire torso is riddled with scars, mostly from slashes and cuts. They're long and shiny white in various stages of healed. She doesn't have to be self conscious of those scars because he's got plenty of his own. Beautiful, wanted and loved are exactly the feelings he's hoping to evoke in her. Teasing her is also what he wants out of her. Honestly, he's hoping to make her orgasm before he's ever inside of her. Next time they have sex it can be more about him. RIght now, he wants everything to be about her and her enjoyment.

When she lifts her hips, Matt slides the pants off and down her legs, moving his body down her body, trailing kisses along her skin as he goes, nipping at a hip bone then her inner thigh, kissing the back of her knee as he takes her pants completely off. He can't help but smile at her words. It sends a rush of desire and of love through him when she says she's never wanted anyone before. "This is how it should always be," he whispers against her skin as he works his way back up her body, pausing at the center of her to lick, tease and nibble.

[stillplaying]

That, at least, Katniss doesn't doubt. She wouldn't be here, in Matt's bed with his head between her legs, if she didn't think that he wanted to give her the break that no one else has in some time. The days of sleeping with others for money are behind her, along with her days of killing children for sport.

She had no idea that she would be so willing to admit her feelings to him tonight either. True, it hadn't been nightmares that had kept her up all night. She had stayed up all night waiting for him to come home because she was worried. All Katniss had really intended to do was make sure that Matt came home in one piece. She had barely begun to acknowledge her feelings to herself. Blurting out that she loved him and then falling in bed with him? That had been the last thing on Katniss' mind. There's too much at stake when it comes to Matt, too much to feel. She doesn't know how to be numb around him.

Katniss has seen those scars before. She's helped tend to some of those scars since moving in. But those interactions had been completely neutral, those first of a girl determined to pay a debt and then that of a girl determined to help her friend. She knows that they're there even though they're currently covered with his shirt. But there's a difference in how they received them. He received his nobly protecting others, the complete opposite of her own story. They're not the same.

Regardless, he loves her. He's said so aloud. And every touch, every kiss just proves how much he loves her. She's been naked in front of clothed partners before but it's never been like this. She's never felt beautiful, wanted, and loved as a result. Matt's so close to reducing her to nothing more than a bundle of nerves and it doesn't take much more on his end to accomplish his goal. Katniss smiles as he leaves a trail of kisses up and down her legs, sighing or gasping whenever he finds a particularly sensitive spot of skin. "I wouldn't- Matt," she cries out, her original statement forgotten shortly after his mouth finds her center. Suddenly everything is forgotten as a burst of warm pleasure fills her. She jerks against him and tightens her grip on his hair as she orgasms, loudly moaning his game again. "Matt. Matt, don't stop."

[preemptiveforgiveness]

That's something and he'll take it.

That's a good thing and she can work those feelings out as they go. They're not in any hurry to navigate some sort of romantic relationship obstacle course. She'll have time to process everything later. He'll have to do some processing of his own because he hadn't planned anything like this. It's not a bad thing though.

Yes, there's a difference, but they're scars all the same and the sooner Katniss starts accepting her past and moving beyond it the better. Besides, they look at the way she survived a little differently. He doesn't believe that if the circumstances had been different she would have chosen the life she had.

He does love her and he's so glad that she's accepting that. Every sigh and every gasp builds his desire for her, but when she cries out his name like that it's nearly his undoing. He relishes the way she bucks against him and pulls at his hair. He's got no intention of stopping, not until she's ready for that.

[stillplaying]

No, they're not in a hurry, nor should they be. The smart thing to do would be to take everything slow. Take tonight slow and talk everything out rather than fall into bed together. But they both know the kind of curve balls that life can throw. Something you take for granted can be taken away forever. So while they aren't in a hurry, while Katniss had heard and acknowledged his instance to go slow, she can't. She can't take the chance something else might happen and she'd miss out on Matt. Neither of them planned on tonight - or the complications of a relationship that they'll now have to navigate through - but Katniss doesn't regret a thing.

He has a point. It's not as if Katniss had willingly decided to be either of those things, a killer or a prostitute. She had signed on to a job thinking she'd be an au pair. She had made a mistake and then did what she could do to make something out of that mistake. Funding Prim's future had made the most sense when Katniss doubted she'd have much of a future. She didn't think she'd live long enough to regret anything. She had been wrong. But since meeting Matt, those regrets have been much few and further between.

"Please don't stop," she mumbles again, her words coming out breathy and desperate. It's never been this easy to be so vocal. She's used to it; it had been the easiest way to convince her patrons of things her body wouldn't necessarily agree with. But with Matt, all those words and sounds flow. She manages to open her eyes enough to look at him - the head of dark hair that her fingers remain laced in, the way he seems to lap up everything he elicits within her - and it's nearly enough to undo her all over again. The orgasm starts to subside and she laughs again between heavy breaths. She wants to feel that pleasure again and again, as often as Matt would wish. Katniss suspects that she could grow addicted to him. "I wish you could see what you've done to me."

[preemptiveforgiveness]

Matt doesn't regret it either, even if it comes with it's own complications. He'll welcome those complications and they'll work them out together.

It's not as if she could willingly step away from the 'job' once she'd found out what it really was. She'd made the best of a horrible situation, a situation in which all of her choices were awful ones. She's got a future now, Matt is going to make sure of it. He's so, so glad that her regrets are further and fewer between. That's something he wants very much for her regardless of their relationship status.

Vocal is good. Matt likes hearing her words both because they do fuel his own desire, but also because he knows what she wants as long as she's talking. When she laughs and speaks, he presses a kiss against her inner thigh, then her hipbone and her stomach, her ribs and that space between her breasts, her collarbone and finally her mouth as he makes his way up her body, settling himself between her legs. "I can," he assures her. "Just not the way you do. I can hear your heart beat, about a 135 beats per minutes. I can smell the desire and the satisfaction on you. I can see--you're the brightest glowing thing in the room," he tells her.

[stillplaying]

He has a lot more optimism about the way the world works than she is. It's another one of those things that Katniss loves about him. She's not so good at the whole optimism thing and with al lthe darkness, she needs someone who can shine a ray of light in her world. Matt seems to have this uncanny ability to do that. It could be because of who he is or just because of who he is to her. Whatever it is, it works. He's helped her remember that life can be worth living.

Someday, if things continue going in the right direction, she hopes that her past will be so far behind her that Katniss can introduce Matt to Prim. She could never tell her sister how she and Matt met. That would come too close to revealing her crimes, not to mention Matt's secret. But she'd like to think that they'd get along. It's just wishful thinking right now but lately, a lot of her wishes have strangely been coming true.

She smiles at him as he begins to kiss her. The kiss on her inner thigh tickles, her skin still heated and sensitive from her orgasm. It's like that everywhere he kisses her but Katniss doesn't do anything to stop him. She loosens her grip on his hair and gently strokes every part of his head that she can reach. It's not enough but as he moves upward, her hands move further down his body. She wants to touch him everywhere and make him as happy as he had made her. Especially when he describes her as the brightest glowing thing in the room. No one's ever honestly described her as something so... So pure and beautiful.

"You have too much clothing on," she murmurs against his mouth, happily cradling his body between her legs. Remembering how he had enjoyed it before, she moves her hips against his - a not-to-subtle hint of what she could do if he removed those annoying sweatpants. She kisses him hard, holding his head against her own with one hand while the other reaches down to pull at the hem of his shirt. Katniss breaks the kiss only to nip her way along his jaw bone, stopping at his ear to whisper huskily, "You need to glow, too."