Open RP post!

[hominidae]

? Pick one of my characters (see below) OR drop any character of yours in and get a random choice.
? Use RNG and enter 1-14 for a scene; roll again for specifics.
? Or cheat and just pick something.
? You can also just throw a picture, quote, or whatever kind of prompt you want.
? OPTIONAL: combine a bunch of memes and scenarios and go nuts.
? NOT optional: HAVE ALL THE FUN OR ELSE.


MUSE LIST


I. BED INVADERS

A. Decide you know this person! (Cast mate, previous CR, etc.)

1. WAKE THEM UP. You don't care how friendly you are to the person in your bed; they need to get up.
2. PRANK! Oh, this has just got to stop. They need to be punished. But how?
3. CAN'T BEAT 'EM, JOIN 'EM. Push 'em over & snuggle up. You're too tired to deal with this craziness right now. Or sleep on your couch.
4. LET THEM SLEEP. Whatever. It's noon. They're asleep and you've got things to do. Regard them or disregard them.

B. Decide you have NO CLUE who is person is! (No CR, cast mates who have never met, cross-canon, etc.)

5. SCREAM 'OMGWTFBBQ GET UP!' Really. Default action going on here.
6. PRANK! What a better way for you to remember this moment of meeting than by painting a mustachio on your new 'friend's' face? (Remember, it's your bed. Be wise what you do.)
7. GENTLY AWAKEN THEM. Oh, the poor dears! They must be exhausted, but they can't stay here. Be nice, even if it isn't IC for your character. This is what you get for rolling. Shake them up quietly. Or re-roll.
8. GET TO KNOW THEM NON-BIBLICALLY. Well, they're asleep. But they left their wallet, important work, or identification out (no matter how OOC it may be)! Let's see who's REALLY sleeping in your bed. (Use your own judgment on what you find. AS a suggestion, have the most they find is the sleeper's name and maybe place of work.)
9. TIE 'EM UP. FUNCTIONAL typing up. Not kinky, no matter what the other party might think. Let them continue their blissful moment of rest. They'll answer questions later and you'll be safe and sound.

C. Decide - I do what I want

II. ROAD TRIP

1. BREAK DOWN. Oh snap. Your car decided to break down out in the middle of nowhere. WHAT DO? Is that Leather-face? Will this be "Children of the Corn"?
2. HITCHHIKERS? Is this even a good idea? Threads may also have a third participant. Go wild.
3. WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST HIT? Dude, I hear deer mess up cars... Or I think that was a deer...
4. DON'T MAKE ME TURN THIS CAR AROUND. Alas. You're the parent or disgruntled friend who has had it up to here with all the fighting in the back. This thread may also have a third or even fourth participant, if you can wing it.
5. OMG, I WANT TO TAKE A PICTURE OF THIS LANDMARK! No, no, and no. You tell that person that they're going to be driven around and they're going to like it.
6. THE GREAT ESCAPE. Either dinosaurs or the moth-man is chasing you. Don't stop now.
7. MAKE OUT. For whatever reason, the person you're traveling with in the car. You would love to make out with them and then some.

III. CUDDLES

1. SWEET DREAMS. It's been a long day and all you want to do is sleep or just rest your eyes for a bit. Hopefully whoever is close by doesn't mind if you use them as a blanket.
2. STORMY WEATHER. The heavy rain, thunder, and lightning won't be letting up anytime soon. Luckily, it's the perfect weather to stay indoors and snuggle up close and keep warm.
3. SLOW DANCE. It's the end of a party, or maybe it's only the two of you, but the tempo is slow and the lights are low. Let your dance partner take the weight and just sway.
4. SURPRISE ATTACK. Time to invade someone's personal space. Are they working too much and need a distraction? Maybe you just wanted to brighten their day. Either way, they won't see it coming.
5. MOVIE NIGHT. It can be on the sofa or in a darkened theater, but you've got your popcorn and someone to settle against during your favorite movie.
6. I LOVE YOU, MAN. It's totally platonic, really. You're just very good friends, no matter what people like to think. But you just love your friend so much you want to hug them, whether they like it or not.
7. JEEPERS CREEPERS. Welp. You were just frightened. Was it a spider in the washroom, a ghost in the attic, a bad dream? Either way, you're looking for someone to cling to right now, and who better than that person right there?
8. HURT AND COMFORT. Whether you're sick in bed, just been dumped, or suffered a traumatic event, you need someone to wrap their arms around you and make everything go away.
9. SUNDAY MORNING. Maybe you just had a wild night. Maybe there's just not enough space at your place and you need to share your bed. Or maybe you just got really tired and someone else happened to be there. Doesn't matter because now the person with you looks way more comfortable than any blanket or pillow. Drape to your heart's content.
10. MOMENT AFTER. You just had incredible, vigorous sex and if you weren't a cuddler before, you are now. You're probably too exhausted to do anything else anyway. Just enjoy the moment.
11. PLAYER'S CHOICE. Pick one or make up your own!

IV. HURT/COMFORT

1. INJURY. You've been injured. Broken bones or bleeding out or maybe just a tiny little paper-cut. The choice is yours.
2. SICKNESS. You're sick and laid up in bed, at home or in a hospital. The severity is up to you.
3. FEAR/ANXIETY. Something is happening and you're scared beyond belief.
4. LOSS OF SENSES. Sight, touch, taste, hearing, smell, etc. You've lost some important sense or ability and now you're left to deal with it.
5. DESPAIR. Nothing is good or right anymore and you can't shake the depression. Maybe that friend of yours can help though.
6. MAKE UP. Fight or break up, it's time to make up.
7. RESCUED. You've just been held captive and/or tortured for however long and finally, someone has come to the rescue.
8. BAD ROMANCE. Fight, cheat on, abuse, whatever the case is, someone else can clearly see you need comfort from someone who isn't your terrible lover tonight.
9. LOSS. You've experienced a loss of some kind and need help getting through it.

V. FIGHT

1. FISTFIGHT. Straight-up, unfussy, no-holds-barred face punching. Clearly you're emotionally invested in this argument. Or maybe you want some stress relief.
2. BAR FIGHT. Someone's had one too many drinks. Curses are being slurred, bottles are being smashed. Just don't be surprised if you get thrown out.
3. VERBAL. A caustic, intellectual battle of wits? Or just immature playground insults? Either way, the fighting here isn't physical; sticks and stones can break your bones, but we'll see if words can hurt you...
4. WEAPONRY. Fencing practice or a real sword fight? Paintball or battlefield gunfight? The only limits are your imagination (and the extents of human military engineering, of course)!
5. SPARRING. Maybe you're a streetwise punk teaching the new kid on the block the ropes of self-defense. Or perhaps you just want to get some practice in before your karate exam.
6. SEXY. That collar-grabbing led to a kiss, that knee stayed in a place a little too long, those gazes got a little intense... There's heavy breathing here, but it might not be because you've been exerting yourself.
7. DUEL. You insulted the wrong person. Or got caught cheating at cards. A duel, sir, a duel! The glvoes are off (and slapping you) and it's pistols at dawn.
8. COMPETITIVE. Boxing, wrestling, martial arts, the possibilities are endless. Just remember: the first rule of Fight Club...
9. OTHER. Combine any of the above, or make up your own!

VI. BODY HORROR

1. WATER-DWELLING. You've grown gills, or your skin is turning translucent, or you're sprouting fins, or maybe you're outright turning into some form of sea life. It doesn't matter what you're turning into - what does matter is taht you're slowly losing the ability to breathe air, and there's no water in sight.
2. ANIMAL. Something bit you, and you're turning into an animal. Your bones lengthen or perhaps shrink, break, twist, and reform. Your teeth lengthen or shorten. And above all, you feel your instincts being overridden. Your senses sharpen; you notice smells you never did before. Your vision becomes more sensitive to movement. If you're a predator? Man, these people look mighty tasty. Prey? OH GOD. EVERYTHING IS TERRIFYING. Lizard? Enjoy your new inability to regulate body temperature. Bird? Have fun with the whole beak and hollowing bones. And don't get us started on insects and arachnids.
3. PARASITIC. Something's inside you, and it's changing you from within, chewing up your insides and altering your thoughts. You're not sure how much longer you're going to be you, and when the parasite's going to take over completely...
4. DEMONIC. You've been meddling with dark powers beyond the ken of mortal man, and it seems you've accidentally sold your soul. Will you be the traditional kind of demon, horns and hooves, or something far more terrifying and ineffable?
5. UNDEAD. No doubt about it, you're dying. But as you are, something's been altered in you. Maybe you're becoming a vampire - and not the fun kind either; we're talking ugly, ravenous, and mad. Maybe you're a zombie, or a ghoul, and human flesh looks mighty tasty. Or maybe you're just turning into a ghost bent on vengeance. In any case, death is never fun.
6. CYBERNETIC. Get captured by the Borg? Strapped to an operating table? Injected with nanites? Whatever happened to you, you're slowly turning into something half-human, half-machine, and your squishy bits are being replaced by mechanical components.
7. LOVECRAFTIAN. You've heard their song, the terrors from beyond the stars, and even no they sing in your blood as your flesh transmutes into something ineffable and unknowable. You revel in the pain. You feel even as you seek to spread it, to herald the end of all things... Or maybe worse. You're aware of the transition as your mind becomes not your own.
8. FUSION/HIVEMIND. You've begun to fuse with the first person who tagged you - physically, mental, or both. Soon, you can't tell who is who, which one of you is the real you, as your thoughts become one. Join in the flesh song, mortal.
9. INANIMATE. Your body slowly petrifies and hardens, tuning to stone, wood, glass, or something stranger still. Or perhaps you liquefy or maybe you dissolve into the air itself.
10. WILDCARD. Pick whatever you like, combine a few options, or make up your own.

VII. HIGH SCHOOL AU

1. CLASS TIME. Pick your class, pick your seat. Whether you're paying attention or goofing off, you're interacting constantly with someone else.
2. BREAK TIME. Those precious minutes that aren't lunch, usually half an hour if you're lucky. Are you hanging out on the grass, rushing to get homework finished, or bunking off school early?
3. LUNCH TIME. Food, glorious food! ... As long as you're not eating the school lunches. What sort of chaos will you get up to in the endless queue that is the lunch line?
4. FOOD FIGHT. The natural reaction to being served school lunches: throwing them as far away from you as possible. You're caught in the middle, or maybe you're instigating it. Who knows? No one can tell.
5. STUDY PERIOD. Yeah. "Studying." They mean catching up on gossip, right? Or watching that crappy TV in the common room? Or maybe you really want to study. I'm not judging.
6. SKIPPING SCHOOL. Did you even get to school before you bunked off somewhere? Or did you just take the bus five stops further and in to town? Hope you don't get caught, either way.
7. EXAM WEEK. You're going into an exam, or just cramming every last bit of knowledge into your head. Either way, good luck! You're going to need it.
8. DETENTION. What did you do? Or were you innocent and wrapped up in your friend's scheme, and now you both have detention? I do not envy you at any rate.
9. SUMMER HOLIDAY. SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER! Burn your books, burn your uniforms. Everything is over for another 6 weeks (or however long you get off).
10. FACULTY. Oh, hello miss/sir. No, we weren't talking about bunking. Yep, you're the teacher. IMPORTANT NOTE: If you get this option, you or your partner can do a second roll for the scenario.
11. TAKE YOUR PICK. Free for you. Whether you want to pick something from the list, or make up your own scenario, this option allows that. (Of course, you could just bypass the rolling entirely.)

VIII. APOCALYPSE HOW

1. LAST ACTION HERO. You tried your best to save the world, but despite the superpowers, the teamwork, and the sacrifice of many good friends, you couldn't quite pull it off. Now you're left with your guilt and a universe where half the people left are depending on you to help them, while the rest are trying to hunt you down for your failures. Good luck with that, hero.
2. SCIENCE SAVIOR. They said it was impossible, they said it was futile, but you know that if you just got a little bit of support you could fix all of the world's troubles. Maybe your experiments are a bit on the unethical side, but the survival of humanity is depending on you! You can't let the world down. Time to grab those test-tubes and get yourself a lab assistant that doesn't mind getting their hands dirty.
3. THE LAST PERSON ON EARTH. Well, it's finally happened. A virus or disease or genetic mutation has all but wiped out members of the opposite sex and humanity is doomed. But what's this? A lone survivor? As the savior of the species, they'll be glad to lend a hand (or reproductive organ) to help restore the population, right? Maybe a little bit of persuasion is in order.
4. SO LONELY. You haven't talked to another person in days and you're starved for conversation. So when you finally meet another lone traveler it makes total sense to stick together, right? Maybe share some food, some companionship, some ammo. . . . Better hope you both get along.
5. MUTATION STATION. The bomb dropped and some people weren't fortunate enough to go in the blast. Now those left behind have to deal with nuclear winter, a dwindling food supply, and some strange additions to the human gene code. Maybe these super-humans are friendly and misunderstood. Then again, maybe they just want to eat your brains.
6. LAST DANCE. The world is ending. You know it, everyone knows it, so the only thing left to do is party like it's 1999. Complete your bucket list, do the things you never got the chance to do before, and maybe screw up the courage to do the things you were too scared to even think about doing. Oh, and watch out for looters.
7. FREEBIE SCENARIO. Anything you can think of that isn't already mentioned can go here.

IX. PARANOIA

1. EROTOMANIA. That person loves you. They belong to you. They might deny it and be with someone else but they're ridiculous. You know better here.
2. DISTRUST. Simple as it sounds, you're being lied to. You can't prove it but you're not falling for their tricks anymore.
3. HALLUCINATIONS. A vague classic. Those sounds, those sights, your senses are screwed up and the world is upside down. There's plenty of senses to screw.
4. TAINTED. You're completely wrong. Is it in your family's blood? Is it parasites? A disease? Aliens? A sin? But it's consuming you, whatever it is.
5. CONSPIRACY. Why are they after you? Who knows. Maybe you know. But everyone is in on it and you're the only one left fighting against it.
6. CONTROL. Your actions aren't your own, even if others insist they are. Somehow, either drugs or magic or something, someone is making you their puppet.
7. FIXATION. Either it's in you or someone else or a thing but this imperfection is clawing at your mind. Just fix it. Fix it and you can rest.
8. FOLIE A DEUX. The more either you or the other person talks, the more you feed into this unease and the more real it sounds. What can you two alone do?
9. REPLACEMENTS. Is it just this person or is everyone being replaced with a fake? You're not a fake, though. You won't let them replace you.
10. REAL. Is any of this real? Maybe you're dreaming or drugged. Maybe you're dead. But you need to prove that this is really happening, whatever it takes.

X. Texts From Last Night

1. Pick a character or leave that up to me
2. Go here (or make something up, insert a tfln gif whatever)
3. Comment.
4. See where it takes us!

XI. RANDOM LOCATION

1. LOST. Oh shit, how did you even get here.
2. ON THE RUN. Getting away from someone or something that's after you.
3. TREASURE HUNTING. Something you desire is here. Maybe it's being guarded or you're competing for it.
4. TRAVELLING. You turned up here on purpose. Why is up to you.
5. ESCAPE. Things have gone wrong and you need to get out of this place.
6. DISASTER. Something awful has happened whether you're the cause, a witness or there to help.
7. INVASION. It's a siege! Are you defending or attacking?
8. HOME. It's actually where you live.
9. DUEL. The predetermined location to end a feud.
10. WHATEVER. Just make something up, whatever.

XII. STOP! SOMEONE IS NAKED IN YOUR...

1. BED. Waking up after a wild night or just getting ready for bed?
2. OFFICE. Getting a leg up at work? Caught in a moment of indiscretion?
3. YARD. Someone's been communing with nature...
4. CAR. The warmth of a heater during snowfall... or the air conditioner during a melting summer.
5. BEACH. Oh look, there's a floating swimsuit... and there's its owner.
6. RIVER. God, can't even fish without hooking the wrong species.
7. BATTLEFIELD. Oops, someone looted the wrong corpse... who isn't actually a corpse.
8. SCHOOL. All right, who's been raiding the locker room?
9. BATHROOM. . . . Oh, hey, who needs a shower, right?
10. PARK. Sun and grass and lots of people to . . . watch . . . oh my.
11. . . . CLOTHES?? Okay, technically they are clothed, but it's not their clothes dammit.
12. OTHER. Because there are way, way too many more places than I can think of)

XIII. INTIMACY

1. PHYSICAL INTIMACY. It might just be innocent touches or it might be foreplay.
2. LONG CONVERSATIONS. Honest words can be more intimate than touch.
3. DRUNK. You're over-sharing or simply maudlin.
4. FORCED INTIMACY. Magic. A truth serum, whatever - you didn't mean to bare your soul, but that is precisely what you're doing right now.
5. SLOW-DANCING. There is something inherently intimate about trusting someone else to lead you, and someone trust you to lead them.
6. OTHER. Intimacy can come in many forms. Pick your poison.

XIV. OTHER

1. BOUNTY HUNTERS. You're wanted. And someone is chasing you. Maybe it isn't your fault? But maybe you did rob that bank. Either way, there's someone after that price on your head. Confront them, or run? Specify hunter or hunted.
2. TRUTH. You can't tell a lie. Maybe both of you can't, or only one of you, but now is the time to ask those embarrassing questions.
3. OBEDIENCE. The person posting is compelled to obey, no matter what. (Un)Fortunately the person commenting is compelled to give orders. All orders given must be obeyed.
4. LOTUS EATERS. The person posting is trapped in their own dream of personal paradise. The person commenting is trapped with them. Help free them, or fall into paradise?
5. PLANTS OF DEATH. Plants are trying to kill you. (Something's . . . happening.)
6. INSOMNIA. One or both of you can't sleep, and that sucks. Be awake together.
7. DREAMWALKING. One of you is trapped in the other's dream - or nightmare.
8. SOULMATES. You are meant to be, whether the relationship is functional or . . . less so. Maybe you've just met and yet you know this person (previous lives okay here).
9. PICTURE/QUOTE PROMPT. Throw a bunch of pictures and/or quotes around and see what happens, free-form style! Try RP Visualosities or A Sea Of Quotes.
10. OTHER-WORLDLY. Go to the Other-Wordly blog and hit 'Random' until you get a word. Use the word as a prompt to write up an RP scenario. Do this several times if you like. Mix & match.

Comments

[stillplaying]

What Matt had done was still more than most people would do. New Yorkers are raised from birth to turn a blind eye to the rest of the city. Matt's different. Special. It doesn't matter that the Daredevil had started as a way to make a difference for those important to him. It hadn't stayed that way. He does more for this city than the people payed to protect it. How can anyone not know that and love him for it? She had never given much credence to the ideas of damsels in distress or knights in shining armor. Then she met Matt and it became utterly clear how easy it could be to fall for a knight in shining armor.

He really shouldn't think about those looks. If he wants, Katniss will happily tell them all to go fuck themselves. They don't know her, or him for that matter. They don't know what she's been through. There are too many other there that would judge Katniss for doing what she had to in order to survive. It's why she hasn't let anyone but Matt in, why she's still skeptical about his friends and the Father. She has no time to let others judge her. That, at least, will never change.

She is a girl but even before the Games, she never had the time for those floral scents other girls her age seemed to favor. Katniss had been too busy to keep her family fed and sheltered to care about makeup or perfume or nicely scented soaps. She had only purchased the floral scents because they were cheaper and Katniss was determined not to have Matt pay for everything. But he doesn't seem to care as much as she thought he might. And she likes the idea that he enjoys her natural scent. She wishes that he could see her properly. He can't. She won't be angry if he uses all his other senses to observe everything else about her. He can invade her privacy all he wants; Katniss meant it when she said he could have her. He can have her in any way he wants.

Was that all it took? A simple moan, an uncontrolled response to his kiss and words? Katniss hadn't realized it would be that simple. All she had to do was lose control herself. And it had been easy. It had been oh, so easy. She never thought it would be. She always stayed in strict control of herself when pleasuring her client, even if the client wante to be the one in control. All the noises, all her kisses and caresses were well thought out. She'd try her damnedest to leave as little as possible to any other circumstance. But Matt had taken that control away completely. More than that, Katniss had been happy to give it to him.

She laughs as he explains his response. He didn't need to explain his preference towards a condom. Katniss has no desire for a child, either. Not right now. Matt could have walked away from her at any point in the night. He probably should have walked away when she admitted to the prostitution. But he hadn't. He trusts her to be something more than she thinks herself capable of being. Hasn't he realized any of that?

"I love you," she says again. Laughter and sex have never gone together before. Is this what he meant by having her enjoy herself, too? Matt is strong but even if he wasn't, Katniss is certain she's as light as a feather right now. She's so happy, so aroused, and so alive that she's certain she could float away on a cloud. Her legs wrap around his waist without hesitation. She angles one heel to rub against his ass as he walks towards the bedroom. Keeping one arm securely wrapped around his neck, Katniss slips her hand underneath his tee. Kissing him just isn't enough. Waiting until they're both on the bed won't do.

[preemptiveforgiveness]

He's never really had to deal with that because most people don't know that Matt is Daredevil. Karen knows, but she'd always seem more attracted to Foggy, which Matt has always been fine with. He'd like to see his two friends happy together. Katniss is his first brush with the whole knight in shining armor phenomenon and he's okay with her being his last.

She needn't do that and he knows that she's right, but that doesn't mean that he won't occasionally be insecure because of those looks and those judgments. He'll want to make certain that she's still okay with them and the looks and judgments don't bother her. That is an admirable quality as well because so many people build their lives around others' judgment. Matt isn't that reliant on popular opinion, but it does bother him more than he'd like.

It's shampoo and body wash. He certainly doesn't mind her using it and he doesn't mind paying for everything. He's glad that he can afford to do so. Honestly, it doesn't cost much more to have her around than it does when it's just him. He does see her, just not the way that everyone else does. He's given her the 'world on fire' speech so she knows 'how' he sees and technically 'what' he sees and no, it's nothing like anyone else. He can't 'see' her expressions, but he has a good idea of what she's feeling based on everything that he can discern. All of that being said, he would love to be able to see her just one time. He'd love to be able to see the sky and the city, the sun and so much more again. It will be nice to be able to relax around her, to be able to cease worrying about whether he ought to be listening to her heartbeat (sometimes it's soothing) or not.

It had been a real response and that had been the important part, a sign that she was enjoying this, that she did want him. He's got every intention of making sure that she loses control more this evening, at least that's what he hopes for. He doesn't want this night to be anything like any of the other nights she'd spent with other people. He wants her to realize that sex is fun and not a job; it's all about give and take and pleasure.

No, he really hasn't realized any of that yet. He's still afraid of hurting her, of offending her, of saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing and confirming every horrible thing she's ever thought about people and sex.

He can't help but smile at her words, pausing to kiss her again before continuing through the bedroom door. Laughter and sex should sometimes go together and yes, it's part of what he'd meant about her enjoying herself. This is how she should feel a good part of her life and he hopes that she can recapture this feeling more and more. He feels like his entire body is vibrating in the best way possible. He's all heat and tingles, all straining and wanting and needing laced with that same happiness that Katniss is experiencing, that same feeling of being alive. He lets out a sound that's part gasp, part laugh when she rubs her heel against his ass and slips her hand against his skin. When she does that it feels like everything he is focuses in on that spot where her hand is pressed. He wants to feel her hands touching every inch of his skin; he wants to feel her skin pressed against his. He practically stumbles into the bedroom, falling down with her on the bed, catching himself on his elbows so he doesn't fall on her. There's a laugh playing around the corners of his lips and in his throat even as he slides his hands underneath her tee shirt and begins to nip at her neck.

[stillplaying]

She had wondered about Karen and Matt, not knowing much of the relationship that existed between the three friends to begin with. It had seemed simple enough to her: Karen was beautiful, Matt handsome. She's also a strong woman who had managed to preserve her own sense of humor despite a crappy life of her own - and someone much closer to his age. The romance had made sense in her head, anyway. But apparently she had been wrong about that, too.

To a degree, Katniss understands why he'd be insecure about their relationship. He does have his practice to consider and any dirt smearing his name won't help his career. But Katniss can't bring herself to care too much about that, about what anyone else might think. She's lost so much and if Matt wants her in his life, she has every intention to be selfish about it. She'll just ignore those assholes, or tell them to fuck off. He doesn't have to do anything.

She minds. But so long as she continues being incapable of holding a job for more than a couple of weeks, she doesn't have much money to spend. Especially when she tries to throw every penny into her sister's bank account. Matt's too generous for his his own good, at least when it comes to her. She should stop taking advantage of his kindness but every time she comes close, she reminds herself that the more money she saves, the better they can afford college for Prim. Her sister will never have to live the kind of life that Katniss has. She can become the doctor that she wants to be. Maybe even figure out a way to restore Matt's sight. Wouldn't that be some sort of amazing kind of karma? Then maybe he could finally see Katniss outside of a world on fire.

She's enjoyed most of her time with Matt. It has, as a whole, been so much better than her old life. But tonight is better than most. Even the conversation, for however terrifying it had been at the time, delights her now. Katniss would have absolutely no complaint if he works on making her lose every shed of control that she still maintains. It's never been like that before. Already, nothing about tonight has been like the other nights. It'll never compare. It'll always be better.

She murmurs happily when he kisses her again and continues to make a number of happy mewling sound every time that he does something to please her. A kiss, a touch, the gasps and moans of his own that make her feel so smug and so alive. Tumbling on to the bed just serves to make her laugh again. The laugh doesn't last long. As soon as he bites her neck, she finds herself moaning again and curling her fingers against his abdomen. Her hips buck against his and her eyes close. As much as she wants Matt to see her like this, sight isn't important right now. All those other sense - touch and taste and sound and smell - they serve to illustrate the moment just as clearly. Her hand slides further up his chest, stroking at every bit of skin that she can find. She alternates with pressure during her explorations, sometimes pressing her fingertips or nails harder into his skin every now and then.

[preemptiveforgiveness]

There had never really been anything romantic between Matt and Karen. They were friends and yes, she was beautiful, strong, smart and much closer to Matt's age than Katniss, but Karen isn't the one that Matt can't stop thinking about.

Honestly, the fact that it might hurt his practice hasn't really crossed his mind at all. He can't understand why someone would base their choice of lawyer on said lawyer's legal personal relationship. Yes, Katniss might be twelve years younger than him, but she's eighteen and legal in all 50 states. He worries more about it in a more private-public forum. He is, however, perfectly okay with her being selfish in that regard. In the end, the only two people who should care about it is Katniss and him. Her age certainly doesn't bother him personally because she isn't some naive, innocent, sheltered teenager. She's seen more than people three times her age and survived.

She'll find something that suits her eventually. She just needs to keep looking. Matt will eventually urge her to go get her GED and perhaps go to a community college or something like that. She's got such potential and so much to offer the world, not that she sees that now, but Matt does. He wants Prim to do well, to go to college, to become a doctor because it's obvious how passionate Katniss is about that very thing. Perhaps as a Columbia University Law School alumni he can see about suggesting her for a scholarship or something.

It had been an awkward, terrifying conversation that had led to something wonderful, something that Matt hadn't been able to imagine it would lead to when they'd started the conversation. Good, because very little is going to dissuade him from that goal. He intends to make all of her nights better from now on.

He does enjoy those happy little sounds, feeling the same sort of smug power that she feels when he manages to get a groan or a gasp out of him. His laugh doesn't last long either. He's got far more important things to do like nibble at her neck and taste her skin. He swallows hard, catching his breath as her hips buck against him and he slides his hands down to her hips then beneath her shirt, pushing it up as he explores her skin, still nuzzling at her neck, the hollow beneath her ear and finally back up to her lips. He moves his hips against her, pressing and rubbing hard as he kisses her.

[stillplaying]

Matt and Karen had made more sense on paper. If Matt had to pick a damaged woman to love, he should have picked one with more maturity. Someone so much prettier than Katniss; not that looks necessarily matter all that much to the blind. A lot of her thoughts stem from her own issues with inadequacy. That she could never be good enough for anyone like Matt.

There. That's all he has to remember if he ever has doubts. She's eighteen. She's legal. And she's accepted that she's fallen in love with him. Katniss had never wanted to fall in love with anyone, not when she knows how much it can cost. But life never works out the way you plan it. That she knows all too well. She loves him and she's happy with him and she's never going to let anyone change her mind about that. At least for as long as Matt loves her in return.

Maybe getting her GED wouldn't be so bad. Going to college. Actually doing something with her life rather than just living for others. But it would be along while before that can happen. All her money needs to go towards Prim's education right now and the little bit she keeps for herself goes to pay for her keep within Matt's loft. She could take GRE courses at night, especially if her next job is during the daytime. There's still a lot to think about. So many possibilities that she never thought she would have.

As long as he comes home alive from his patrols, Katniss' nights are already made better. But she'll be happy to share his bed with him rather than have it to herself. She'll be happy to cede control to Matt every night if those nights wind up being as good as tonight. This is something wonderful. Better than she could ever imagine.

She's had sex more times than she can count and, although rare, sometimes it did feel good. She often faked orgasms rather than actually experience them. Nothing about tonight needs to be faked, not given the way Matt's already making her feel. His mouth is hot and wet against her neck and the way he nibbles at her skin just makes her want more. Harder bites, softer bites, she doesn't care. Katniss just wants to feel every part of him against every part of her. It's a wish that seems to be easy for Matt to grant. She crushes her lips to his again as soon as she can, tongue entering his mouth without hesitation. Her fingers curl against his chest when he begins to rub himself against her - an action that Katniss eagerly reciprocates. She knows that Matt wants to go slow but everything is heat and fire and passion to her right now. Wanting in a way she never did. Slow isn't quite on her mind.

[preemptiveforgiveness]

Love certainly wasn't part of his plan either. He'd been fairly sure that it would simply complicate things; it would put more people in danger and he never wanted that. However, he has fallen in love with Katniss, regardless of her age or her background. He simply might need a reminder every now and then that she's with him because she loves him, not because she feels obligated to him.

Perhaps not as long as she thinks, but Matt wouldn't ever suggest that Prim's education not come first. Katniss has given up far too much and gone through far too much for that. That's all Matt wants: for Katniss to consider the possibilities that she's got in her life now. She's got a second chance. He wants her to take it.

He's going to try. Matt has never had a death wish. He simply wants to make the city a better place. He wants to make Hell's Kitchen a better place. As for sharing the bed and ceding control, he's okay with that as long as she is. This is all he really wanted when he kept trying to get her to slow down: he wants her to realize how good this can be.

It's good that she didn't always hate it. That would probably give her a lot of issues where sex was concerned and he's glad that she's not dealing with that. He certainly hopes that nothing needs to be faked tonight. Of course, given all his super senses, it'd probably be pretty hard to fake anyway with him. He bites hard enough to leave little marks then covers them with kisses.It's an easy wish for Matt to grant because it's what he wants as well. His tongue tangles with hers and the kiss consumes him as he rocks against her. Mostly he wants her to enjoy this, to want this. Right now, he's not even thinking about slow. He's thinking about the way she feels and how he can't possibly get close enough to her. Her shirt is bunched up around her upper body and he breaks the kiss, his breathing heavy. "Can I?" he asks, his hand sliding to her shirt, asking permission to take her shirt off.

[stillplaying]

Is love ever part of the plan? Or loss? She knows the answer to that without question. Of course not. If it were, she wouldn't be here right now. If it were, her mother wouldn't have broken so completely when Katniss' father died. She might regret giving in so easily to love someday but today isn't that day. Maybe that day won't ever come and she'll live a life with Matt different than that lived by Mr. and Mrs. Everdeen. Unlikely given Matt's career(s) of choice. Or Katniss' determination to join him in the vigilante business.

He's too good for her. He's never even met Prim (for their safety, Katniss still keeps her family at arm's reach) and he's willing to help her sister regardless. And this is on top of all the he already gives her. As far as Katniss is concerned, she's met the perfect man. No one could be better.

And nothing he's done so far has given her any indication to think otherwise. Even if his insistence to slow down had driven her crazy with frustration and fear, he's only had her best interest in heart. He's always only had her best interest in heart. Katniss realizes this now. He's attentive to every response she has. But none of this has to do with stoking his own ego. He really does want her to enjoy herself, doesn't he?

She still has a number of issues where sex is concerned. Not fully comprehending that it can be more than just a transaction is one of them. Thinking that she's worthwhile, that she could be more than a breathing sex toy to people. It'll take a while to think that sex should be about love and not about transaction. She'll be confused in the morning. Fearful and worried about what all of this means. About how easy it had been for her to give up the control that's always been a definitive part of sex. All because of love.

That'll be in the morning, when she looks in the mirror and notices the marks and feels a strange mix of satisfaction along with the nauseated feeling of self-hatred that she's used to. But right now, every bite is met with a pleased groan. Everything is consuming her, everything about him and how warm and solid he is. How real Matt is, and the love Matt has for her. Nothing will be close enough. Her eyes open when he breaks the kiss. She inhales and exhales rapidly as she struggles to catch her breath - and do her best not to laugh. He's too considerate for his own good.

"I already told you," she answers, lifting her head to tug at his lower lip. "You can have me." And for once, she's happy to give herself over willingly. She kisses him again, this time placing her lips on the corner of his mouth. "That means," Katniss continues, nipping at his upper lip, "you can do whatever," another kiss, "you want. Anything you want."

[preemptiveforgiveness]

Unfortunately, Katniss is probably right about their future. It doesn't look bright. Claire had told him once that all she remembered from Sunday school were the saints and the martyrs and that they'd both ended up the same way: bloody and dead.

No one is too good for her. That's the first thing she needs to realize. He's being a decent human being and he cares about Katniss.

He's been trying to tell her that.

They'll work on those issues and they will take time. Hopefully she'll talk to him about those issues and concerns and feelings. In the morning, he'll be here (or possibly in the kitchen making breakfast) to reassure her that everything is okay.

He loves the way she struggles to catch her breath, the way he can hear her heart beating so fast, the rush of blood to her skin, and those pleased little groans because they all tell him that she's enjoying herself. He's not too considerate. He's making certain that she's still okay with this.

"Maybe if you keep saying that, I'll believe you," he tells her with the slightest grin before he tugs her shirt up over her head and tosses away. His hands slide up over her ribs and the curve of her breast. He lowers his head to trail kisses across her skin.

[stillplaying]

Then they better make the most of it now. They better make the most of every single second they can have together. Maybe it'll last, maybe it won't. But Katniss refuses to ever end up like her mother. She's survived too much to fall apart if she ever loses Matt. Mostly, she'll just do her best not to lose him period. All the more reason why Katniss will have his back out there in the field sooner rather than later.

Loving Matt is easy when it comes to loving herself. He is a decent human being. More than decent. He's one of the best that she's ever met. Someday when she sees herself as more than what she had been reduced in the past few years, she'll understand that no one is too good for her. That she is deserving of a man like Matt. A man that'll love her.

There are a lot of issues they'll be working on over the next few days, weeks, and maybe if they're lucky, even months or years. She knows that getting involved in a relationship with Matt will be one of the hardest things that she'll have to do. It had gotten easy in the Games. She had become absolutely numb to that life. To everything but her own hatred of herself. Feeling again is a lot harder. She'll need that reassurance.

Compared to most of her experience, he is far too considerate. Far too nice. If she gave that same permission to one of her patrons from the Games, they really would take. They'd take everything and not give a damn if she enjoys it or not. But he's still checking on her, still making sure she's okay with everything. Is it possible to love him any more? Especially given that she has only known him for a few months?

"Anything," she repeats, kissing that smile on his face before he removes her shirt. Being dressed for bed, there's nothing underneath her shirt but bare skin. Katniss sighs happily when Matt runs his hands along her body. Her chest and stomach are covered with subtle scars from the fights and other things that she'd rather not think about. Someone with Matt's sense of touch won't miss them. He teases her with fingertips at her breast and she squirms a little in response. The kisses are an even greater torture, but the best kind of torture that she can think of. Her breath comes out in small pants between words. "No one's ever loved me before. You can have anything. Whatever, however you want. Cause it's what I want. Cause... cause you love me."

[preemptiveforgiveness]

And she wonders why her strength and her ability to survive is admirable. Yes, he wants to live, but if he doesn't, he wants to know that she will survive. She's got the right attitude about a life with him though. She's got the right attitude about life period and maybe it's because of the life she's had.

He's looking forward to that day. He wants to see her confident and happy. He knows that girl is in there somewhere.

Anything real is always hard. It's gritty and painful. It's also so much better than anything fake. He's happy to give her assurance anytime she needs it and probably even when she doesn't.

His fingertips linger on each of those scars. His lips follow them. He presses a kiss over her heart, his fingers gliding across her skin, teasing at her nipples as his mouth meets hers again. He breaks the kiss and nuzzles his nose at the hollow beneath her ear. "I still just want you," he tells in a ragged whisper as he slides his hands down to her hips, pushing the waistband of her pants down a bit.

[stillplaying]

She does wonder. She can't help it. She wonders what good is left within her. It's not that she likes killing but then again, she never put up the same resistance to the fights as other children. She always hated killing those children but she did so anyway. For survival and for money, Katniss did whatever she was told. What about that is admirable? Maybe her attitude about a life with Matt is right. She's not sure of everything else.

She's not even sure of a future where she will be that girl Matt wants her to be, though she likes to imagine it. She'd like to be that girl. Someday, she'd like to be confident in herself and accepting of her past. She'd like to just be happy and in love and a normal girl, one that won't think twice about a happy - and relatively healthy - relationship.

Learning to accept her feelings is, in some ways, a first step. Admitting to Matt that she loves him, being with a man that loves her - they're all good first steps. Katniss is on the way to healing without even realizing what it is she's doing. Acting on instinct instead, both those ingrained and those learned over the past two years, has helped to distract the part of her that thinks it might be better to still be numb.

Katniss normally doesn't think much about the scars but when she does, she tends to find them ugly. But Matt makes her feel beautiful even with the scars. She continues to sigh and squirm as he teases her, gasping when he finds her nipples. Maybe he isn't as considerate as she had thought; he really is a horrible tease. By the time Matt's done with her, Katniss suspect she'll have some idea as to what Matt's sense of touch is like. Every nerve will be on fire.

"I want you, too," she whispers, lifting her hips once his hands move southward. She cranes her head, tilting her face to the side in so Matt can have fully access to her neck. He's a tease yes but she also can't remember the last time anyone paid this much attention to her. She should pay more attention to him, to what his body wants, but this all feels too good. Her fingers thread through his hair and nails dig into his scalp. "I've never wanted anyone before."

[preemptiveforgiveness]

It'll take time, but Matt is convinced that she's a good person. She just needs a break and he's willing to give it to her. He wants to give her that break.

That's what they'll work for: that future.

Those are huge steps and Matt is so, so glad that she's taking them, that he can help her take them. He'd had no idea when he admitted to his feelings for her tonight that this is where it would lead, or that Katniss would take those steps. Matt's father had always told him to trust his heart and Matt thinks that one can rarely go wrong when that happens. That doesn't mean everything will end up perfect, but it's a good start. He doesn't want her to ever be numb again. He understands numb, he's been numb again and he knows why she might want to be numb, but that's not her life anymore and a life lived numb isn't much of a life at all.

His entire torso is riddled with scars, mostly from slashes and cuts. They're long and shiny white in various stages of healed. She doesn't have to be self conscious of those scars because he's got plenty of his own. Beautiful, wanted and loved are exactly the feelings he's hoping to evoke in her. Teasing her is also what he wants out of her. Honestly, he's hoping to make her orgasm before he's ever inside of her. Next time they have sex it can be more about him. RIght now, he wants everything to be about her and her enjoyment.

When she lifts her hips, Matt slides the pants off and down her legs, moving his body down her body, trailing kisses along her skin as he goes, nipping at a hip bone then her inner thigh, kissing the back of her knee as he takes her pants completely off. He can't help but smile at her words. It sends a rush of desire and of love through him when she says she's never wanted anyone before. "This is how it should always be," he whispers against her skin as he works his way back up her body, pausing at the center of her to lick, tease and nibble.

[stillplaying]

That, at least, Katniss doesn't doubt. She wouldn't be here, in Matt's bed with his head between her legs, if she didn't think that he wanted to give her the break that no one else has in some time. The days of sleeping with others for money are behind her, along with her days of killing children for sport.

She had no idea that she would be so willing to admit her feelings to him tonight either. True, it hadn't been nightmares that had kept her up all night. She had stayed up all night waiting for him to come home because she was worried. All Katniss had really intended to do was make sure that Matt came home in one piece. She had barely begun to acknowledge her feelings to herself. Blurting out that she loved him and then falling in bed with him? That had been the last thing on Katniss' mind. There's too much at stake when it comes to Matt, too much to feel. She doesn't know how to be numb around him.

Katniss has seen those scars before. She's helped tend to some of those scars since moving in. But those interactions had been completely neutral, those first of a girl determined to pay a debt and then that of a girl determined to help her friend. She knows that they're there even though they're currently covered with his shirt. But there's a difference in how they received them. He received his nobly protecting others, the complete opposite of her own story. They're not the same.

Regardless, he loves her. He's said so aloud. And every touch, every kiss just proves how much he loves her. She's been naked in front of clothed partners before but it's never been like this. She's never felt beautiful, wanted, and loved as a result. Matt's so close to reducing her to nothing more than a bundle of nerves and it doesn't take much more on his end to accomplish his goal. Katniss smiles as he leaves a trail of kisses up and down her legs, sighing or gasping whenever he finds a particularly sensitive spot of skin. "I wouldn't- Matt," she cries out, her original statement forgotten shortly after his mouth finds her center. Suddenly everything is forgotten as a burst of warm pleasure fills her. She jerks against him and tightens her grip on his hair as she orgasms, loudly moaning his game again. "Matt. Matt, don't stop."

[preemptiveforgiveness]

That's something and he'll take it.

That's a good thing and she can work those feelings out as they go. They're not in any hurry to navigate some sort of romantic relationship obstacle course. She'll have time to process everything later. He'll have to do some processing of his own because he hadn't planned anything like this. It's not a bad thing though.

Yes, there's a difference, but they're scars all the same and the sooner Katniss starts accepting her past and moving beyond it the better. Besides, they look at the way she survived a little differently. He doesn't believe that if the circumstances had been different she would have chosen the life she had.

He does love her and he's so glad that she's accepting that. Every sigh and every gasp builds his desire for her, but when she cries out his name like that it's nearly his undoing. He relishes the way she bucks against him and pulls at his hair. He's got no intention of stopping, not until she's ready for that.

[stillplaying]

No, they're not in a hurry, nor should they be. The smart thing to do would be to take everything slow. Take tonight slow and talk everything out rather than fall into bed together. But they both know the kind of curve balls that life can throw. Something you take for granted can be taken away forever. So while they aren't in a hurry, while Katniss had heard and acknowledged his instance to go slow, she can't. She can't take the chance something else might happen and she'd miss out on Matt. Neither of them planned on tonight - or the complications of a relationship that they'll now have to navigate through - but Katniss doesn't regret a thing.

He has a point. It's not as if Katniss had willingly decided to be either of those things, a killer or a prostitute. She had signed on to a job thinking she'd be an au pair. She had made a mistake and then did what she could do to make something out of that mistake. Funding Prim's future had made the most sense when Katniss doubted she'd have much of a future. She didn't think she'd live long enough to regret anything. She had been wrong. But since meeting Matt, those regrets have been much few and further between.

"Please don't stop," she mumbles again, her words coming out breathy and desperate. It's never been this easy to be so vocal. She's used to it; it had been the easiest way to convince her patrons of things her body wouldn't necessarily agree with. But with Matt, all those words and sounds flow. She manages to open her eyes enough to look at him - the head of dark hair that her fingers remain laced in, the way he seems to lap up everything he elicits within her - and it's nearly enough to undo her all over again. The orgasm starts to subside and she laughs again between heavy breaths. She wants to feel that pleasure again and again, as often as Matt would wish. Katniss suspects that she could grow addicted to him. "I wish you could see what you've done to me."

[preemptiveforgiveness]

Matt doesn't regret it either, even if it comes with it's own complications. He'll welcome those complications and they'll work them out together.

It's not as if she could willingly step away from the 'job' once she'd found out what it really was. She'd made the best of a horrible situation, a situation in which all of her choices were awful ones. She's got a future now, Matt is going to make sure of it. He's so, so glad that her regrets are further and fewer between. That's something he wants very much for her regardless of their relationship status.

Vocal is good. Matt likes hearing her words both because they do fuel his own desire, but also because he knows what she wants as long as she's talking. When she laughs and speaks, he presses a kiss against her inner thigh, then her hipbone and her stomach, her ribs and that space between her breasts, her collarbone and finally her mouth as he makes his way up her body, settling himself between her legs. "I can," he assures her. "Just not the way you do. I can hear your heart beat, about a 135 beats per minutes. I can smell the desire and the satisfaction on you. I can see--you're the brightest glowing thing in the room," he tells her.

[stillplaying]

He has a lot more optimism about the way the world works than she is. It's another one of those things that Katniss loves about him. She's not so good at the whole optimism thing and with al lthe darkness, she needs someone who can shine a ray of light in her world. Matt seems to have this uncanny ability to do that. It could be because of who he is or just because of who he is to her. Whatever it is, it works. He's helped her remember that life can be worth living.

Someday, if things continue going in the right direction, she hopes that her past will be so far behind her that Katniss can introduce Matt to Prim. She could never tell her sister how she and Matt met. That would come too close to revealing her crimes, not to mention Matt's secret. But she'd like to think that they'd get along. It's just wishful thinking right now but lately, a lot of her wishes have strangely been coming true.

She smiles at him as he begins to kiss her. The kiss on her inner thigh tickles, her skin still heated and sensitive from her orgasm. It's like that everywhere he kisses her but Katniss doesn't do anything to stop him. She loosens her grip on his hair and gently strokes every part of his head that she can reach. It's not enough but as he moves upward, her hands move further down his body. She wants to touch him everywhere and make him as happy as he had made her. Especially when he describes her as the brightest glowing thing in the room. No one's ever honestly described her as something so... So pure and beautiful.

"You have too much clothing on," she murmurs against his mouth, happily cradling his body between her legs. Remembering how he had enjoyed it before, she moves her hips against his - a not-to-subtle hint of what she could do if he removed those annoying sweatpants. She kisses him hard, holding his head against her own with one hand while the other reaches down to pull at the hem of his shirt. Katniss breaks the kiss only to nip her way along his jaw bone, stopping at his ear to whisper huskily, "You need to glow, too."

[preemptiveforgiveness]

He has to believe that the world can be a better place, otherwise everything he does is pointless and he becomes this jaded lawyer that isn't any good to his clients and a vigilante that does more harm than good. He doesn't mind being that light nor does he mind being her reminder that life can be worth living. There are certainly worse things to be.

He would like to meet Prim and he wouldn't mention a word of how he met Katniss to Prim. He'll probably come up with some sort of charming story to tell Prim like he saved her from a mugger, something that's true in intent even if it's not true in detail. From everything he knows about Prim, he can't imagine not getting along with her. He would give it extra effort in order to make sure they got along. He knows how important she is to Prim.

He can practically hear that smile and there's love and tenderness every time she touches him. The way he sees everything in shades of fire, she's practically blazing right now. He does see and he can tell so many things about how she's feeling. In some ways, he sees more than most people. Right now she is beautiful and pure in her happiness, in her love and he doesn't ever wish to see her any other way.

"I tend to agree with you right now," he whispers in the midst of the kiss. Yes, he had enjoyed that a great deal and he enjoys it now, groaning--almost gasping-- at the contact. He rocks back hard against her. When she tugs at the hem of his shirt, his hands go to pull it up over his head. His eyes close at her words and he moves against her again. "I'm all yours," he tells her, making the same sort of offer to her that she'd made to him. She can do anything she wants to him.

[stillplaying]

She'd never want to see him become another one of New York's jaded attorneys. Katniss had met too many of the jaded, corrupt ones in the Games. The men and women that didn't have the least bit guilt when it came to defending the criminals in charge of the underground fighting ring. Because of that, she had been slightly wary of Matt when he had told her about his day job. But Matt's so much better than those lawyers. He and his friend Foggy both. They're good people. She couldn't imagine anyone else but Matt to serve as her reminder of the world being a better place.

A charming story like that would suit Katniss just fine. It's close enough of the truth. Close enough at least, that if Prim studied her sister closely, she might understand that starry-eyed look on Katniss' face. The reason why her sister, who never had time for boys before leaving home at sixteen, had fallen so deeply for an older man. For now, it's still something to dream about. Katniss needs to be a lot more secure in herself before she can face Prim face to face. But at least she can email and text her sister now, after a painful two year absence.

Before tonight, Katniss never understood how someone could hear a smile. Or how much love could be conveyed in touch. Her senses aren't anywhere as developed as his. They'll never be. But she doesn't doubt his words when he says that he sees her in his own way. Those shades of fire of his are very fitting tonight. She feels on fire; every emotion and every nerve are alive and ablaze with sensation. It's overwhelming but for once, that's okay. She's happy to let herself be enveloped like this.

"Knew you were smart," she replies, half her words muffled as she continues to give in to that need to devour his kiss. Even the way he rocks back against her doesn't get her to stop; she just moans into his mouth instead. The only time she breaks contact is to pull his shirt over his head. Katniss tosses it somewhere, not quite paying attention to wear. A quick smile crosses her face. Even with his scars, he's gorgeous. She wants to run her hands over every sculpted muscle but the control that would take is long gone. Especially when he echoes her offer from earlier. She sucks at his lower lip as she uses her foot to push down the band of his sweatpants and release him. Remembering his answer to her own offer, she answers, "All I want is you."

[preemptiveforgiveness]

He hadn't been offended. He knows the reputation that lawyers get. He and Foggy had worked for a big firm for a while and Matt hadn't been able to stomach what they were doing to people. That's why Nelson and Murdock went into business. He'd gone into law to right injustices, not to make more of them. He can't imagine that he'll ever get so bitter that will change. If he does, he needs to get a new day and night job.

Sticking as close as possible to the truth without revealing too much is usually better for that very reason. Matt is still worried about that older man part, still worried that people who are important (like Prim) won't understand it. Matt certainly isn't going to push her to see her younger sister, but he is glad that she's able to text her and email her. He knows that's a comfort to both sisters.

It's amazing what even the average person can hear when they listen. The way he sees the world might have never been this appropriate because he feels the same way, but rather than pain it's with an intense pleasure and desire that it's practically a need more immediate than food or water, something more akin to breathing. It is overwhelming, but in the best way. Matt feels like he could drown very happily in all of these sensations and emotions.

He's got no desire to break the kiss either, just as happy to be devoured by it as she is. All those muffled words and moans continue to fuel his desire until he's convinced he's going to combust. They can find their clothes later; clothes hardly seem like anything important in this moment. In all honesty, he doesn't want her to find that control, not right now. They've got lots of time to learn each other's bodies, to explore and to touch. The way she sucks on his lower lip pulls another groan out of him from deep inside of him. Once she's pushed his sweatpants below his hips, he sheds them quickly, pushing them off the edge of the bed. It seems impossible, but when she echoes his answer to that question another wave of desire and love racks his entire body. He presses his lips to hers and reaches down to guide himself into her, thrusting deep then pausing to catch his breath, breaking the kiss to gasp. "Oh, God, Katniss."

[stillplaying]

If he did change, at least Katniss wouldn't have a reason to love him anymore. He wouldn't be that man that she had fallen in love with, the one who had saved her from such a crappy life. Unless she changed, too. Katniss had come close. She had become bitter and numb to the cruelties in the world. There had been no point to fight against the people that had held her captive. There would always be someone else to take their place. A new abuser of the system and the people within it. So she had added to the cruelty and suffering in the world. What other choice had there been? Katniss understands that there is a choice now. That despite her previous misconceptions, there were good people that cared about the common man. She never wants to disappoint the man that had rescued her. She likes who she is now a lot better than who she used to be.

Katniss has no idea if Prim would understand. Mostly, she thinks that her sister would be in shock to see Katniss with any man, closer to her age or not. And, she hopes, happy for her. Pleased that for once, Katniss is doing something for herself. Being selfish enough with love to find someone else, someone aside from Prim, to live for. If not for her sister, she would have found reason to stop living long ago. At least she has Matt now.

Somehow, at some point in the night, Matt's instilled this need in her that outweighs any other need. He's become more necessary than food or water or even breathing. Without him, survival might as well be futile. What would be the point, now that she knows what it's like to be tangled up with his body? The taste and smell and feel of him surrounding her? His words, his gasps and groans - all the noises his make and their bodies make when they come in contact with each other - are like music to her. This is what sex ought to be like. Matt was right all along. It shouldn't be some sort of obligation, a way to earn more money from the people that would already use her in the arena. It should be all-consuming. This.

A complete and utter loss of control. She's never abandoned her thoughts like this before. Instead, there's always been that small corner of her head that she'd retreat true when with a patron. She'd act as they expected, service them like they expected, but she'd never give herself over like this. There's nothing in this world beyond Matt. Beyond making him groan and squirm and make him lose all control as well. And it seems to work. Before she even fully realizes that his sweatpants are finally gone, he's inside of her with one hard thrust and she nearly comes all over again. And suddenly that's all that matters. Being filled by him. Having Matt as deep inside of her as physically possible. What else is there to being alive than this? Than hearing him gasp her name so reverently?

"Matt," she whispers lovingly, placing her hands on his cheeks and bringing his head down for another kiss. For a few seconds, she lets the kiss be tender and loving. As soon as she moves her hips though, and another ripple of desire and pleasure radiates through her body, she gives back into that passion. Moaning, she crushes her lips hard against his and thrusts her tongue into his mouth to tease him into hers.

[preemptiveforgiveness]

She hadn't had a choice, which is what he will keep reminding her. If she'd refused, she would have died. There are definitely good people in the world, but sometimes the evil of the world overshadows them especially if one is right in the thick of it. He won't be naive enough to say that she can't disappoint him, but he does believe that she won't. He believes that she'll continue to choose good and to rise above her past. It's an amazing thing, liking who you are.

Matt hopes for the same thing. Happiness and love together are rare enough a find that Matt doesn't think anyone ought to begrudge another regardless of where they find that love and happiness. If Prim loves Katniss the way that Katniss loves her, it won't even be a question.

Anything less than this does seem pointless. This is why he'd wanted to slow down, why he'd wanted her to realize that anything with him would be different than her previous experiences. This is why he'd wanted to confess his feelings for her and why he's so glad that she'd confessed hers. It makes everything so much better.

He's glad that she doesn't retreat anywhere. He wants her to be fully present, fully aware and here because it would be a shame to miss any part of this. There's a part of him that's honored and pleased to be able to be this person for her, the first person she hands her control over to, the person to be able to teach her that sex should be like this. He is made of need and want the same way that she is right now, so much so that it's almost overwhelming in the best sort of way. He doesn't want it to ever be any different than it is right now. He feels her shiver and shudder around him, that control slipping a little further and it begins to unravel even more of his control.

He's all too happy to move into the kiss and he moans softly when she moves her hips with him. That crushing kiss that invites him to taste her mouth with his tongue, to tease at it, makes his heart slam even harder and faster against his chest. He continues to move against her as the kiss deepens and lingers, his hands gripping tightly at her hips.

[stillplaying]

She hadn't had a choice. For a long time, Katniss suspects that the words will be easier to say than to actually accept. She could've (should've?) refused to fight. She should have been as noble as the others who had willingly given up their lives rather than dirty their hands. It's an argument that she thinks can go on just about forever. But it's also something that she'll forever continue to atone for. That has to mean that she's not all bad, right? That there is some good in who she's chosen to be? And that being around a man like Matt might just make her a better person.

So pointless. But Katniss has to still think that slowing down was a little pointless, too. Words are easy to manipulate. A lie, when properly phrased, is so easy to believe in. But actions? She thinks actions are harder to hide. It had taken a few months for Katniss to learn to hide her revulsion during fights and sex and even then, she ultimately just retreated inside of herself until it was all animal instinct. He didn't have to confess anything to her. Katniss suspects that she'd still know how much he loves her from his touch anyway. Wouldn't that have been just as good?

There's no reason to retreat everywhere. Matt is everything she wants. He's everything that she thinks she could ever want in a lover. And she's loved him since the moment he pulled off his mask, maybe even before. Since the moment he interrupted her last fight. Missing any part of this would be wrong. Like denying something necessary to her very core. Like breathing. More than breathing. She's handed over everything to him, every inch of control, and it's wonderful. Trusting someone with her body this much is wonderful.

He's begun to unravel as well. The way he thrusted into her without asking for her permission, let alone without any kind of second thought, confirms it. The moans he makes, the way he continues to move against her, kiss her, and hold her as he chases after his own pleasure makes it all the more real. But it's not enough. She's become lost to all of this, nothing but want and need and nerve endings full of pleasure, and she wants him to join her. She grabs one of the hands on her hips and moves it up to her breast.

"Let go," Katniss insists, nearly whispering the words into his mouth. "God, Matt, please. Just let go."

[preemptiveforgiveness]

Matt will continue to believe that the good was always there, he just gave her a chance to be that person. And it probably will take some time for her to truly accept that she hadn't had a choice, but eventually it will happen because Matt will keep telling her that. He will keep reminding her of it until she accepts it.

Except that Matt can literally hear the lie and he's awful at lying himself. Matt is fine with action and he agrees that sometimes they are easier to believe. However, when someone repeats an action so many times it becomes automatic, robotic and easy to lie with. Matt had wanted to make sure that she hadn't done that here and tonight. He'd wanted her to know his intent behind his actions and he'd wanted to know her intent as well. Matt doesn't think so, despite how they can be manipulated words are important, but then he makes his living (such as it is) with words. They'll have to agree to disagree on that front, but the outcome had been the same so they'd both won.

Loving Katniss had grown on him. At first he'd just wanted to save her, he'd wanted to give her a second chance. He still wants that, but as he got to know her, as he begin to see the courage and strength she had inside of her, he began to fall in love with her. Even then, he'd denied it because of her age, because of what he knew (so little) of her romantic experience, because of her past. She needed safety and security, not a complicated, romantic relationship, but it'd only gotten harder, denying his feelings for her, especially as he began to suspect that she had feelings for him that went beyond a savior complex. This is what he wants, all of her control, all of her and anything less won't do. That's why he'd wanted to slow down. However, he's very, very glad that they're not slowing down now, that he's stopped denying his feelings for her.

He'd started to unravel the moment she'd kissed him with such emotion, the moment she'd started to hand over her control to him. It's just reached a point that he can't control it anymore. He's lost to the need and want and pleasure the same way that she's lost, or he's on the edge of being lost. He gasps when she moves his hand up to her breast then groans and flicks his thumb as it, squeezing as he does.

It's her words that finally do it though, that plea and his name on her lips. He thrusts deep into her a couple of more times before crying out and completely losing control. He rocks deep into her and lets pleasure wash over him as he collapses against her. "Katniss," he whispers into the crook of her neck.

[stillplaying]

His simple faith in humanity is exactly what Katniss needs. It's exactly the sort of attitude that keeps her going. Exactly the reason why she really believes that living around Matt will make her a better person. How can he not, when he makes his beliefs so obvious? Especially his belief in her.

There are still a number of things she has yet to learn about his abilities. It amazes her every time she learns something new about him. There are so many things that normal people don't even realize. That they take for granted every day. Katniss still isn't all that great at lying herself though she's learned. She's had to learn to stay alive. But lying with her body is still easier to do than with her words. Around Matt, though, she can't lie at all. It has nothing to do with his powers and everything to do with how much he means to her. She doubts it'll ever be any other way.

Katniss doesn't want to admit that initially, it probably had been a savior complex that attracted her to him. She had spent two years dependent entirely on herself, determined not to let anyone manipulate her any more than they had. She had seen some of the other children, the ones that had been there as long or longer as she had, develop some sort of Stockholm Syndrome. She had seen others fight and fight until they had been deemed relatively too costly to keep around. That wasn't going to be her. But then she had gone and fallen for the first man that rescued her anyway. Sometimes, she hates herself for it. But now that she suspects that it has become a lot more than that, she doesn't hat herself nearly as much.

Besides, what would be the alternative? Not have Matt in her life? Not love him as he deserves to be loved? That's not an option. Katniss has never loved anyone before and now that the emotions have been reciprocated, she loves being in love even more. It feels too good. Too good on so many levels. Hearing a man say he loves her and mean it. Being surrounded by him like this. He moves inside of her and it makes her feel so filled and complete in a way she never knew sex could feel. She's so lost to this, to him, and when he plays with her breast, she finds herself moaning and picking up her own pace, desperate to come again.

It doesn't take much. Not when Matt surrenders his control and thrusts deeper and something inside of her snaps again. The pleasure washes over her and she cries his name again, barely noticing as he comes as well. She lies there sated, happily covered by his body. One hand keeps his head buried in the crook of her neck and the other rests on his back. Katniss sighs happily. He's right. This is exactly how sex ought to be. "You're right," she whispers. "This was amazing."