Is love ever part of the plan? Or loss? She knows the answer to that without question. Of course not. If it were, she wouldn't be here right now. If it were, her mother wouldn't have broken so completely when Katniss' father died. She might regret giving in so easily to love someday but today isn't that day. Maybe that day won't ever come and she'll live a life with Matt different than that lived by Mr. and Mrs. Everdeen. Unlikely given Matt's career(s) of choice. Or Katniss' determination to join him in the vigilante business.
He's too good for her. He's never even met Prim (for their safety, Katniss still keeps her family at arm's reach) and he's willing to help her sister regardless. And this is on top of all the he already gives her. As far as Katniss is concerned, she's met the perfect man. No one could be better.
And nothing he's done so far has given her any indication to think otherwise. Even if his insistence to slow down had driven her crazy with frustration and fear, he's only had her best interest in heart. He's always only had her best interest in heart. Katniss realizes this now. He's attentive to every response she has. But none of this has to do with stoking his own ego. He really does want her to enjoy herself, doesn't he?
She still has a number of issues where sex is concerned. Not fully comprehending that it can be more than just a transaction is one of them. Thinking that she's worthwhile, that she could be more than a breathing sex toy to people. It'll take a while to think that sex should be about love and not about transaction. She'll be confused in the morning. Fearful and worried about what all of this means. About how easy it had been for her to give up the control that's always been a definitive part of sex. All because of love.
That'll be in the morning, when she looks in the mirror and notices the marks and feels a strange mix of satisfaction along with the nauseated feeling of self-hatred that she's used to. But right now, every bite is met with a pleased groan. Everything is consuming her, everything about him and how warm and solid he is. How real Matt is, and the love Matt has for her. Nothing will be close enough. Her eyes open when he breaks the kiss. She inhales and exhales rapidly as she struggles to catch her breath - and do her best not to laugh. He's too considerate for his own good.
"I already told you," she answers, lifting her head to tug at his lower lip. "You can have me." And for once, she's happy to give herself over willingly. She kisses him again, this time placing her lips on the corner of his mouth. "That means," Katniss continues, nipping at his upper lip, "you can do whatever," another kiss, "you want. Anything you want."
no subject
He's too good for her. He's never even met Prim (for their safety, Katniss still keeps her family at arm's reach) and he's willing to help her sister regardless. And this is on top of all the he already gives her. As far as Katniss is concerned, she's met the perfect man. No one could be better.
And nothing he's done so far has given her any indication to think otherwise. Even if his insistence to slow down had driven her crazy with frustration and fear, he's only had her best interest in heart. He's always only had her best interest in heart. Katniss realizes this now. He's attentive to every response she has. But none of this has to do with stoking his own ego. He really does want her to enjoy herself, doesn't he?
She still has a number of issues where sex is concerned. Not fully comprehending that it can be more than just a transaction is one of them. Thinking that she's worthwhile, that she could be more than a breathing sex toy to people. It'll take a while to think that sex should be about love and not about transaction. She'll be confused in the morning. Fearful and worried about what all of this means. About how easy it had been for her to give up the control that's always been a definitive part of sex. All because of love.
That'll be in the morning, when she looks in the mirror and notices the marks and feels a strange mix of satisfaction along with the nauseated feeling of self-hatred that she's used to. But right now, every bite is met with a pleased groan. Everything is consuming her, everything about him and how warm and solid he is. How real Matt is, and the love Matt has for her. Nothing will be close enough. Her eyes open when he breaks the kiss. She inhales and exhales rapidly as she struggles to catch her breath - and do her best not to laugh. He's too considerate for his own good.
"I already told you," she answers, lifting her head to tug at his lower lip. "You can have me." And for once, she's happy to give herself over willingly. She kisses him again, this time placing her lips on the corner of his mouth. "That means," Katniss continues, nipping at his upper lip, "you can do whatever," another kiss, "you want. Anything you want."