stillplaying: ([others] another kind of hunger)
Katniss Everdeen ([personal profile] stillplaying) wrote in [personal profile] hominidae 2016-03-07 05:42 am (UTC)

No she isn't. She's not worthy. But Katniss is selfish. Her sister still loves her because Prim doesn't know the truth. She doesn't know how Katniss had been providing for her these past two years. Matt knows the truth. He seems to like her well enough regardless. She'd never use love to describe the way he feels for her but she's definitely willing to accept that he's fond of her on some level. It's hard to comprehend.

Overall, her self-esteem has never been all that high. The past two years have only served to knock it down further. In some ways, she had been more of an object than a person to these people. It hadn't taken long for Katniss to generally agree with the assessment. Why would anyone love an object? There's a lot that she has to learn. Loving herself, not just loving others, is probably on the top of that list.

She knows how his abilities work. They still amaze her. They also make her envious. Though she holds out no hope, she wouldn't mind powers like his. More Inhumans are cropping up every day. Why not her? But that's not how these things work. Her fighting abilities are no where as refined as his. She learned how to fight in a desperate attempt not to die. Her skills are underhanded and creative but if it meant that she could protect Matt while he works his other job, she'd be willing to improve.

Comparing her to a wild animal isn't all that far off the mark. She had been very skittish when she first approached him. Ready to bolt the second he showed an inclination to hand her over to the police. There have been many days since where she's acted much the same. But she wouldn't run if he touched her or even if he kissed her. Her heart will continue to race but the fear would be worth it. At least that's what she tells herself.

The second his thumb slides near her lips, she swallows hard. Her eyes close and despite knowing that it's meant to silence her protests, she tilts her head enough to capture the tip of her thumb between her lips. She's being an idiot again, A stupid, reckless idiot. But there's that need to please him budding within her. He's closer than he's ever been, than anyone's been since being freed of the Games, and it makes her want. Though he tries to explain something to her, Katniss only draws a break. What could he ever make her do that she wouldn't want? Is he talking about what she's doing now? The way she's coming on to him even though he's given no inclination of wanting this kind of attention from her?

She's ready to ask or, even better, be smart and back away entirely, when his grip on her shifts and she finds his lips back on hers. The kiss has to be the gentlest that she's ever experienced and for a few seconds, Katniss isn't certain what to do. Then the same instincts she relied on in the past kick in and she amps up the kiss. This time, her kiss lasts more than a second. And it's far from the gentleness of his kiss. She crushes her lips to his and slips her tongue into his mouth. But it remains brief when fear gets the better of her.

"Father's don't kiss their daughters like this," she murmurs as she struggles to catch her breath. "Same with brothers and their sisters."

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