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Katniss Everdeen (
2016-03-05 08:37 pm (UTC)
It's been a long time since Katniss has opened up to anyone as much as she's opened up to Matt. At first it had been extremely awkward. She'd sit there quietly as Matt would talk, occasionally grunting or nodding in response when appropriate. But the more that Matt had been willing to share, the more Katniss had felt comfortable talking about her own life. She never commented on the truly tragic parts. Instead, she talked a lot about Prim. She'd also talk about her father and what had life had been like up until he died. It's only been within the past month that she's offered small tidbits about the nightmares that would come at night.
Though Matt has some sort of (misguided?) belief in her, Katniss doesn't have that same belief in herself. Prim will have that good future, that life like Matt's. She'll be whatever she wants to be. Katniss' options are much more limited. She has a sixth grade education, nothing more. Worse, she's killed multiple times. All it would take is someone to recognize her and rat her out to the cops and she's certain that her rap sheet would be as long as half the villains that Matt takes down in the night. Theft, murder, prostitution, assault... The list has to go on. She did what she had to in order to survive but in the process, she narrowly limited future options. Then again, Katniss doubted that she'd live that long to care. Overall, it's okay if her affections remain unwanted. She's not the kind of girl someone like Matt ought to be with anyway.
Their chats have grown more in depth, more intense. But there are still things she won't tell him. On some level, she'd much rather have Matt draw her own conclusions about her life than fill him in on the details. For the most part, the jobs she had found had been legal(ish) before finding herself in the Games. He knows that she's killed and Katniss is okay with leaving it at that. She doesn't want to see his reaction if she ever told him everything else. There's something about her that Matt likes or he wouldn't let her stay in his apartment or keep calling in all his connections to get her a job. She doesn't want to ruin that.
Of course Matt would notice her touch. He probably noticed the second that she raised her hand towards his cheek. She watches as he takes her hand in his and curls his fingers around her hand. Her heart skips a beat as he moves her hand to his chest. Katniss can't help but smile fondly at him as he reassures her. "This time. You're not an Avenger, Matt."
Though she'd never stop him doing what he does, she'll keep worrying nonetheless. Too much of her life has become tied up with his. She doesn't want to know what it would become without him.
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