preemptiveforgiveness: (Default)
Matt Murdock ([personal profile] preemptiveforgiveness) wrote in [personal profile] hominidae 2016-03-05 03:46 pm (UTC)

Matt doesn't mind talking about his childhood, not anymore and he'd wanted Katniss to feel comfortable here with him so he'd told her a great deal about himself. Eventually they'd settled into a comfortable existence where conversation wasn't strained, awkward or one-sided. He'd been very lucky to have people in the system that had cared about him. His case worker had been fantastic as had the nuns at the orphanage (for the most part) then there had been Stick, who in the long run hadn't been so great, but had definitely had a huge part in making Matt the person he is today and the vigilante that he is. He taught him how to use his powers, how to use his disability to his advantage and how to be independent; he taught him to fight and, in Foggy's words, be a ninja (Yes, it's the plot line to Kung Fu Panda, still true though). She hasn't ruined her future. She's too young to have ruined her future. She's just starting out again and Matt is determined that she will have one, and a good one.

Katniss is a survivor; she's already lived through things that would have done most people in and despite all of that she hasn't turned into one of the people that Matt hunts in the night. That alone speaks volumes about the potential in her. She's just got to figure out where to apply that potential. As for unrequited love, though neither of them realize it, it's not unrequited on Matt's part; it's more denied. He should love her for a long list of reasons that he lies on the couch in the middle of the night and composes. It would be so easy to slip into the bedroom at night where she sleeps, but that would make him a horrible person and he's not that person, no matter how much he might think about it.

The real reason that Matt thinks that Katniss is inexperienced is because he doesn't know about her experience. It's far too horrible to contemplate that sex had been forced upon her as well as self-defense and murder. He doesn't have that in him to think that someone would be horrible enough to do that. As far as he knows, all she ever had to do was fight and kill, as if that wasn't enough. In any case, even if he did know about that, she's still inexperienced at relationships and how a real one works, how sex ought to be rather than how she's experienced. He sees good in here because she's trying to start over; she's trying to leave all of that behind. She's trying to be a good person. That's admirable in and of itself.

Despite the fact that that cut is tender, he tilts his head ever so slightly into the touch. Being blind has made Matt very tactile. He can tell so much from a person's touch, from the way their heart beats and most of the touching that Matt gives and receives in the form of violence and combat these days. Claire hasn't been around since long before Katniss came into the picture and he hasn't been on a date since before then.

He reaches out to take her hand, his fingers curling around them. "Hey. I'm still in one piece." He takes her hand, and if she'll allow it, rests it against his chest over his heart. "I'm okay, Katniss."

He thinks she worries because she's afraid of being abandoned again or being on her own. He's got no idea it's because of the feelings she's got for him.


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